Bonding with Baby for Fathers

Author and Radio host Armin Brott, blogger Adrian Kulp, and father Ronald Howell discuss how fathers can bond with their baby, something that appears to be challenging for new parents, but is actually something simple to achieve
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Bonding with Baby for Fathers

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- Most new fathers come into the whole new father thing without a lot of experience with kids. Their partner's probably did some babysitting, and most likely the guys didn't. So a natural question I get a lot which is, "What am I suppose to do with this thing "now that we got this baby around?" And the first thing you need to prepare for, is the first couple months are going to be tough. They're not going to do anything. You're going to be standing on your head and telling jokes and doing things. You're going to get no response from your child. As the child gets older, you'll be able to get more response. It really is all about spending time together. And paying attention to what's going on with the child. That, the time that you spend is where the relationship building comes from. You're not going to be able to tune in at age two and say, "Okay, now I want a great relationship." So it's the simplest things. Making the baby a part of your life. You plot the baby in a stroller and you go to the grocery store. Think of all the fantastic things you can learn in a grocery store. I remember doing this with my kids. "Look. Here's a kiwi. "That feels really cool doesn't it? "Here's a coconut and that feels different." Just those kinds of things build the relationship between you and your child. You get used to the baby. Baby gets used to you. And that's really what it's all about. My best advice for a father bonding with his daughter, personally my daughter's three right now. It's really important for me to take an interest in things that she loves. They may not necessary be my passions, but I let her comb my hair. I let her put fake makeup on. I sit down to imaginary meals with her. I do things that she really loves. If it's bracelets and necklaces, we'll sit down, and we'll do some of that stuff together, or we'll go out and shop for something like that. One thing that I did specifically for my son is every time we went to a new city or new place, I'll buy him a patch. Putting on a duffle bag to give to him later. At the same time, for my daughter I would look for things like charms for her bracelets. Maybe it's a doll from some of those places we've been. And I think she really loves some of that stuff. The thing that I bonded with my son the most was holding him. And there was this spot where he would snuggle up against me and hold me. That, he felt like he was a part of me. That we were bonding. He was just there. And he meant to be right there. And it was a certain specific spot. He would wiggle into that spot, and I'm holding here because it was here. This was not, It wasn't here; it wasn't here. He'd just get right and to this day, he still, even though he's big, he still looks to get into that, and puts his head in that spot that we connected. That started when he was a newborn.


Author and Radio host Armin Brott, blogger Adrian Kulp, and father Ronald Howell discuss how fathers can bond with their baby, something that appears to be challenging for new parents, but is actually something simple to achieve

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Armin Brott

Dad, Author & Radio Host

A former Marine, Armin Brott has devoted the last 15 years to providing men with the tools, support, and knowledge to help them become the fathers they want to be—and their families need them to be. His seven critically acclaimed books for fathers have sold well over a million copies. Titles include The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be and The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year. He has written on fatherhood for hundreds of newspapers and magazines and is a frequent guest on such television programs as the Today Show. He also writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column (Ask Mr. Dad), and hosts a syndicated radio show (Positive Parenting). He lives with his family in Oakland, California.

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