Sex drive changes during pregnancy

Armin Brott, Author and Radio Host, explains how pregnancy changes sex for couples through the different trimesters of pregnancy
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Sex drive changes during pregnancy

Most couples have sex, get pregnant. Some, of course, are doing it through artificial insemination, they're not actually having the sex. But pregnancy is going to change your sex life, there's absolutely no question about it. It can get better, it can get worse, and there is different stages throughout the pregnancy where this happens. In the beginning, for guys, it can often be, "Oh, I am a fully functional man, I got my partner pregnant. Mhm!" And you feel very viral when you're doing it. So that can really improve his sex life from that perspective. The mom can say something very similar, "I am feeling pregnant, I have never felt more feminine in my life," and so she's feeling quite hot. As the pregnancy progresses, particularly in the second trimester, a lot of blood flow going on in all sorts of exciting places and orgasms can be a lot easier to reach for the women, can be more intense. For the guys, this is kind of when they may start thinking a little bit about, "Am I going to start hurting anybody?" Just so you know, you cannot hurt anybody, unless you're doing something outrageously rough, you cant hurt anybody or anything or... particularly the fetus, which everybody is worrying about, during sex. What is a really interesting phenomenon is that women, generally, as they're going through the pregnancy, find their growing body to be kind of an attractive, erotic thing. Men also find, generally, that pregnant form, pregnant woman, to be an erotic thing for them. What happens is this really incredible miscommunication where she says to herself, "Well, I'm getting bigger, he's not going to find me attractive, so I don't want to ask him about sex." And he says to himself, "She's really beautiful, but she probably is thinking that she's big and I don't want to bother her for sex." You end up with a lot of couples that just don't even talk to each other. They would love to be rolling in the hay in every other room in the house, but they just aren't doing it, because they aren't talking about it. There's a lot of other little things that can kind of add up to a changing sex life. One of them is – certain couples, and you never know who this is going to be, as soon as the pregnancy happens, they start thinking of themselves as parents. He thinks of her as a mom and she thinks of him as a dad and we all know that moms and dads don't have sex. I mean certainly our own parents didn't. Never would. So that can really take the edge off of whatever sexual excitement you were having. There can also be the idea that, "Well, we got it done, that's enough. Let's just stop, we don't have to have sex anymore." And then there is the one that guys really don't want to admit, because we're supposed to really want to have sex all the time, which is these images that we know are going to be going through our minds about how these places on our wife's body, or our partner's body has become... you know, used to be really fun and exciting and now it's going to be functional. And a lot of guys I talk to are just worried that they're not going to be able to get certain images out of their mind. You can always get the images out of your mind and if you're really, really, really worried about it, move up to the other end of the body.
PREGNANCY, Sex and Relationship

Armin Brott, Author and Radio Host, explains how pregnancy changes sex for couples through the different trimesters of pregnancy


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Armin Brott

Dad, Author & Radio Host

A former Marine, Armin Brott has devoted the last 15 years to providing men with the tools, support, and knowledge to help them become the fathers they want to be—and their families need them to be. His seven critically acclaimed books for fathers have sold well over a million copies. Titles include The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be and The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year. He has written on fatherhood for hundreds of newspapers and magazines and is a frequent guest on such television programs as the Today Show. He also writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column (Ask Mr. Dad), and hosts a syndicated radio show (Positive Parenting). He lives with his family in Oakland, California.

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