Partner feeling excluded at OB appointments

Author Armin Brott shares advice for men who feel left out at your spouse or partner's OB appointments during pregnancy and what to do to be more involved
When You Feel Excluded At Partner's OB Appointments
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Partner feeling excluded at OB appointments

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Here is a typical scenario: A couple comes into the OB's office for one of the first visits, the nurse walks them into the room, and puts the dad in the corner where he can have a seat. A doctor comes in and sets up with his back to the dad. He's completely ignored. Completely left out of the entire thing. It's very important for the guy to stand up and not let this happen. It is important to his wife to show that he is really a committed dad, that he really wants to be there. It is important so that the medical team will really take him seriously. The way to do that is, come in with a list of questions. There are tons and tons of questions that you can think of before the visit. Come in and start reading off your questions. In many cases, the doctor will say, "My goodness, I didn't realize we were excluding you. Come on over here." In other cases, they just won't pay any attention at all. If you are part of the latter category, it's important to have a conversation with the expectant mom and say, "Hey, you've got to help me with this." They will listen to her if she says something, "Doctor, Bob has a couple of questions for you." Speak up. Stand your ground. If you don't get what you are looking for, ask your partner to help you out.

Author Armin Brott shares advice for men who feel left out at your spouse or partner's OB appointments during pregnancy and what to do to be more involved

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Armin Brott

Dad, Author & Radio Host

A former Marine, Armin Brott has devoted the last 15 years to providing men with the tools, support, and knowledge to help them become the fathers they want to be—and their families need them to be. His seven critically acclaimed books for fathers have sold well over a million copies. Titles include The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-to-Be and The New Father: A Dad’s Guide to the First Year. He has written on fatherhood for hundreds of newspapers and magazines and is a frequent guest on such television programs as the Today Show. He also writes a nationally syndicated newspaper column (Ask Mr. Dad), and hosts a syndicated radio show (Positive Parenting). He lives with his family in Oakland, California.

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Transcription: 
Here is a typical scenario: A couple comes into the OB's office for one of the first visits, the nurse walks them into the room, and puts the dad in the corner where he can have a seat. A doctor comes in and sets up with his back to the dad. He's completely ignored. Completely left out of the entire thing. It's very important for the guy to stand up and not let this happen. It is important to his wife to show that he is really a committed dad, that he really wants to be there. It is important so that the medical team will really take him seriously. The way to do that is, come in with a list of questions. There are tons and tons of questions that you can think of before the visit. Come in and start reading off your questions. In many cases, the doctor will say, "My goodness, I didn't realize we were excluding you. Come on over here." In other cases, they just won't pay any attention at all. If you are part of the latter category, it's important to have a conversation with the expectant mom and say, "Hey, you've got to help me with this." They will listen to her if she says something, "Doctor, Bob has a couple of questions for you." Speak up. Stand your ground. If you don't get what you are looking for, ask your partner to help you out.