What kind of discipline is effective?

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What kind of discipline is effective?

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The issue of discipline is tough because so many parents myself included, my wife Jeanie, we want to be friends with our kids. But bottom line is, you’re their parent. And you’ve got to tell them what’s important in life and to take responsibility when they screw up. And all kids are going to screw up. I mean, we screwed up as kids. So it’s inevitable. And I think the important thing to remember is when you do exert some discipline, whether you ground your kid for a day or a weekend or multiple weekends because of some action they took that you’re doing it for bettering them. You’re putting in that discipline to make sure that the kid learns and grows from that experience. You’re not being mean or a bad parent. You’re doing what’s right for the kid long-term. I remember as a student having some academic issues at school and a Jesuit priest who was in charge of the school told me I couldn’t do some extracurricular activities. I couldn’t stand the guy. But I still know Father Salter. And it made me a better student. It helped me get into a good college. I still remember his name and what he said at that moment because I knew that he cared about me and he was being tough on me because he wanted to make me into a better human being. I think that’s the approach we have to take as parents. You’ve got to set the discipline. You’ve got to make sure it happens. You’ve got to make sure that the kid knows that you love them and that you’re forgiving them for whatever mistake it was but they need to do better.

Learn about: What kind of discipline is effective? from Mark K. Shriver,...

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Mark K. Shriver

Sr. VP, Save the Children

Mark K. Shriver is President of Save the Children Action Network, where he leads an effort to mobilize Americans to end preventable maternal, newborn and child deaths globally and to ensure that every child in the U.S. has access to high-quality early childhood education. Shriver’s career fighting for social justice in advocacy and service organizations, as well as elected office, has focused on advancing the right of every child to a safe and vibrant childhood.

Shriver joined Save the Children in 2003, serving as Senior Vice President for U.S. Programs until 2013. In that capacity, he created and oversaw the agency’s early childhood education, literacy, health, and emergency preparedness and response programs in the United States.

Shriver was a member of the Maryland House of Delegates from 1994 to 2002. In 1988, he founded the innovative Choice Program, which serves delinquent and at-risk youth through intensive, community-based counseling.

Shriver received his B.A. from The College of the Holy Cross in 1986 and a Master’s in Public Administration from Harvard University in 1993. He resides in Bethesda, Maryland with his wife and their three children.

Shriver’s New York Times and Washington Post best-selling memoir, A Good Man: Rediscovering My Father, Sargent Shriver, was published in June 2012 by Henry Holt.

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Transcription: 
The issue of discipline is tough because so many parents myself included, my wife Jeanie, we want to be friends with our kids. But bottom line is, you’re their parent. And you’ve got to tell them what’s important in life and to take responsibility when they screw up. And all kids are going to screw up. I mean, we screwed up as kids. So it’s inevitable. And I think the important thing to remember is when you do exert some discipline, whether you ground your kid for a day or a weekend or multiple weekends because of some action they took that you’re doing it for bettering them. You’re putting in that discipline to make sure that the kid learns and grows from that experience. You’re not being mean or a bad parent. You’re doing what’s right for the kid long-term. I remember as a student having some academic issues at school and a Jesuit priest who was in charge of the school told me I couldn’t do some extracurricular activities. I couldn’t stand the guy. But I still know Father Salter. And it made me a better student. It helped me get into a good college. I still remember his name and what he said at that moment because I knew that he cared about me and he was being tough on me because he wanted to make me into a better human being. I think that’s the approach we have to take as parents. You’ve got to set the discipline. You’ve got to make sure it happens. You’ve got to make sure that the kid knows that you love them and that you’re forgiving them for whatever mistake it was but they need to do better.