Parenting advice on how to stop taking your kid's explosions personally

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Parenting advice on how to stop taking your kid's explosions personally

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You know, it's not easy having a behaviorally challenging child. They often say things that are hurtful. They often do things that make us feel like we are incompetent parents. They often do things that make us look very bad in public. It's not easy. It can make a parent feel very bad at themselves. It can make a parent feel like - I hear this all the time - I must be doing something wrong. But when we come to recognize that this isn't about poor parenting. And many mental health professionals still believe that if a child is behaviorally challenging it must be because the parent is a passive, permissive, inconsistent, non-contingent disciplinarian. In other words, many mental health professionals still believe that it's the parents of the behaviorally challenging kid who botched the job. And that's why the kid is behaviorally challenging. But when we come to realize that this kid is lacking skills, when we figure out what those skills are, when we figure out the specific conditions that are causing the kid difficulty, and try to solve those problems proactively instead of waiting until they pop up in the heat of the moment, they start feeling very good about themselves as parents, and they start feeling a whole lot better about their kid too.

Watch Ross W. Greene, PhD's video on Parenting advice on how to stop taking your kid's explosions personally...

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Ross W. Greene, PhD

Psychologist, Author & Researcher

Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is the author of the well-known books The Explosive Child and Lost at School, and the originator of a model of care (now known as Collaborative & Proactive Solutions) emphasizing collaboration between kids and adults in resolving the problems contributing to children’s behavioral challenges.  He is also associate clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, on the professional staff at the Cambridge Hospital, adjunct associate professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech, and senior lecturer in the graduate program in school psychology in the Department of Education at Tufts University.  Dr. Greene founded the non-profit Lives in the Balance to provide free, web-based resources on his model and to advocate on behalf of behaviorally challenging kids and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers.  He lectures widely throughout the world and lives in Portland, Maine, with his wife and two kids.

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