I have to admit having a Tween is a challenge at times. Any helpful tips from those who have survived the Tween years?
That is such a tricky age. They need boundaries but they need to gain independence and form their own likes and dislikes. I think a clear set of expecations in regard to respect - how they talk and treat their parents and siblings is important. I also feel like this is a time where they will make mistakes, be hormonal and emotional and need our unconditional love and support. Good luck!
You are not alone. It was a rough day with my 11 year old daughter yesterday. She got angry pushed her little sister into a table and kicked her older sister into tn the chest all while screaming she hated me and I ruined her life because I made her take flute and sweep the floor. Needless to say her electronics are gone for awhile and she got some alone time in her room followed by a talk from her father. I will tell you I definitely didn't feel like mother of the year after that. She's my 3rd hitting this age, so I should be familiar with it, but it still really gets to me.
Thank you! Actually your advice is very helpful! It is the toughest age yet..he is almost 12.I guess 12 won't be any easier? ;)
Thanks Frugal Minded Mom...at least I don't feel alone in this! We have been having some rough days with him yelling and I know I am not his friend first..I'm his mom but the anger does get to me.
Tween and teen years are rough, I am not going to sugar coat it. Probably the least favorite parenting stage for me. It is such a tumultuous time. Think back to your own adolescents. Was it all peaches and cream. I doubt it. It is a time of such drastic change. Our bodies change, our tastes change, our friends change, we face peer pressure, have a desire to fit in and be accepted, we are learning about all kinds of new feelings and emotions and our lives are a mess. Seek a counselor if needed to help you communicate better and keep those lines open. Understand though there will be many bumps and you will get your feelings and ego hurt a lot by your own child who you will think hates you at times. Try and do some reading about the challenges of raising tweens and teens and perhaps connect with a support group online or in person so you can see you are not alone. Good luck.
Thank you! Yes, I know as a Teen I was quite difficult esp. with my Mom. it just seems like it is starting earlier than when I was young..lol. I don't remember being difficult until I was 13-14..lol. Thank you for your thoughts though...they are very helpful!!
Tweens. My daughter had depression problems mostly because we lived in different states & I hardly got to see her. She still takes antidepressants today. My son rebelled & hung out with the bad kids. I still made him come to church with me & I think that made a big difference in helping him thru the rough times. He dealt with severe anger issues.
I think schools, teachers and counselors are more keen on recognizing problems too with depression or anxiety in tweens and teens than years ago so that is an improvement. As someone in this thread mentioned there may be a benefit from either natural solutions or medication if necessary for tweens and teens suffering from clinical depression, suicidal ideations, anxiety etc.
The other thing I just want to say here is that you know this is an age where drinking, drug use etc starts to happen. I wonder how much of that is from peer pressure vs the adolescent self medicating to numb some of the feelings or pain they are experiencing. A way to just turn it off and not deal with life and all its changes.
I do think some of this anger is natural in tweens though and doesn't necessarily mean it's going to lead to depression or drug use. It's just important as a parent to watch them carefully during this time. I have found that the anger comes out most often when something isn't going exactly right at school. For my son it turns out he was being bullied so he would come home and bully his siblings. For my daughter, she just informed me the other day that she is being excluded from conversations at lunch.
yes, I agree...some anger is normal with Tweens. I think having open communication helps.