KidsInTheHouse the Ultimate Parenting Resource
Kids in the House Tour

Coming Clean about Santa & the Tooth Fairy

Posted April 11, 2013 - 8:54am
My 10 yr old daughter (only child) still believes in Santa/Tooth Fairy and will be entering Middle School (6th grade) in the fall. I am welcoming advice on what to say to my daughter when she asks me if Santa is real. I want to tell her the truth, when she asks, but would like to hear what other parents told their children...
13 posts / 0 new
Last post

JamieWalker

I think it's nice to tell her that some people believe in Santa and some people don't and each person gets to choose for herself. There will always be other kids saying he's not real, and there will always be adults with a twinkle in their eye, saying, he is real! I think it's one of those things that naturally evolves over time. I know some kids who were really upset when their parents told them; it's like, even though they were asking the direct question, they didn't really want to know. If they are asking the question, that means on some level a part of them is starting to not believe. It's such a tricky one!!


beachcitymom

My son is 11 and I don't think he believes in the Easter Bubby or Tooth Fairy anymore but he just doesn't say. I remember being the same way when I was his age. I don't think he believes in Santa anymore but likes to pretend to believe. 


Frugal Minded M...

My kids are the same and I am so thankful they don't say anything to ruin it for the younger ones. 


sunnykathleen

The same thing happened with me. A friend had told me all about it but my parents continued the tradition for a few more years. It is a bittersweet moment when they find out!


MommyUnwired

My eldest (when she was like 8) managed to find a receipt of my Christmas present purchases for her and her sister.  That was when she concluded Santa is not real.  The funny thing was when she turned 11,  she waited for an owl to arrive and give her her acceptance letter at Hogwarts...


CandyOvercaffed

When my daughter and I had the discussion, I started with, "What do you think?" and kept following up with questions until I had to answer one. This let me know what she thought already and gave me a feel for if she was "ready" to find out. I imagine that's how I'll handle it with my 5 year old, too.


jonbonjovious

I am celebrating you. My oldest was in sixth grade when he learned the truth. It was a touchy topic. He was very hurt. I explained to him that I still believe--that these magical symbols portray the good of giving. They embody the spirit of all things good. They are love in its truest form--there is no credit given, except to the magic. Perhaps it's the beginning of the same within the child and how they will perceive acts of kindness and charity. It was all he needed to hear. We started a family tradition of being Christmas Pixies, where each year we pick a family and leave small gifts and do good deeds for 12 days. As each child learns about Santa and the Tooth Fairy they become more involved in our tradition. They understand then, the otherside--the magic of giving. 


CandyOvercaffed

Oh that's so cool! I really love that idea. What a great tradition!


jonbonjovious

It has been an amazing tradition. Everyone puts the name of the family they nominate into a jar and we have a big celebration of drawing the family. The person who nomiated the family, then shares why they picked that family--I have been amazed at how observant my children are in their selection we have had families whose dad lost his job, their dog died, they just moved here, they always wear the same two shirts to school, nobody plays with them at recess, they are always picked last, her husband died...etc. From there it just becomes such an amazing journey. The kids once made a Santa Sleigh, pulled by 9 reindeer (made from glass sprite bottles)...it was so awesome watching them sneak to the porch, set up this elaborate sleigh filled with small presents and the reindeer, knock on the door and run to hide. I am always so filled with pride at how much time and thought they put into everything they do for the family. They each make beautiful handmade gifts and we buy items. They are creative, one year they arranged for a mall Santa (whom we did not know) to take gifts to the family on Christmas Eve. They sent a disposable camera for the family to take pictures and return with Santa and then they made this incredible photo album for the family. I cry every year.  


beachcitymom

I love your tradition too. :) My son hasn't asked but I think he knows they aren't real. I told him once that if you believe then Santa will come. I really think he just likes to pretend. he told me two years ago that the Santas we see in the mall and so on just aren't real. He says the one at the beach is the coolest one but he isn't real either..


jonbonjovious

Kiddos are clever. Two years ago my youngest came home with a Mother's Day card that he wrote "fun facts about my mom"...one of them ws, "I think my mom's the tooth fairy.." He's my baby and I am just not ready for him to not believe. We're playing the pretend game too. I have never met a beach santa, but we might this year now!


beachcitymom

Beach Santa is cool...he surfs :)