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Does Your Husband Break the Rules You Make?

Posted August 23, 2015 - 5:06am

How do couples reconcile different parenting style? Like, for instance, my husband is ok with not putting away my son's toys (he can do it tomorrow), while my rule is that dinner won't be served unless the toys are put away.

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CandyOvercaffed

Ugh. One of the hardest aspects of parenting. I've had to pull my husband aside and respectfully explain to him why I've made a certain rule for the kids. It never goes well. I think what it is is that dads (or any parent who is not the primary caregiver) are looking for ways to be relevant and have a voice in parenting. I've had to find things that I let him be in total control of so he feels like he's got a voice. What I don't want is a power struggle between us on parenting. It's tough though.


MommyUnwired

Yeah, we tend to disagree every time...


sunnykathleen

When I was married my husband and I had a heart to heart about parenting. We each decided to compromise on issues that were not big deals. The bigger issues we agreed to show a united front in front of the kids. The little things - like it was important for me that they carry their own dishes to the sink and always rinse their cups out. For him while it was important to him that they respected the food on their plates and not take a bigger helping than they could eat. He did not like to see food go to waste. We supported each other in these things and did a lot of talking behind the scenes to be the best co-parents that we could. Good luck to you!


sunnykathleen

When I was married my husband and I had a heart to heart about parenting. We each decided to compromise on issues that were not big deals. The bigger issues we agreed to show a united front in front of the kids. The little things - like it was important for me that they carry their own dishes to the sink and always rinse their cups out. For him while it was important to him that they respected the food on their plates and not take a bigger helping than they could eat. He did not like to see food go to waste. We supported each other in these things and did a lot of talking behind the scenes to be the best co-parents that we could. Good luck to you!


MommyUnwired

Thanks. He can be very bossy sometimes lol


jonbonjovious

For my husband and I, whomever delegates the "consequences" is who has say. There have been times when we haven't agreed and for those instances, we have had conversations, outside of the children's ears, expressed our concerns and, sometimes, found a better course. Sometimes there are instances where we simply did not agree. A united front is the best way to build respect with the children.


Mommy Ramblings

It can be very difficult. Especially if your parenting style is very different than your spouse. Some things that are a big deal for my husband, are not for me. I truthfully don't even know why he makes them that. Ususally I explain privately why I think it is not a big issue and ask why he thinks it is. Usually he sees it my way, lol.  But definitely there are times I am just shaking my head at what he is pressing the issue on. 


beachcitymom

This is a tough one...we do tend to disagree sometimes. Thankfully, not on everything. I think we both had quite different upbringings and I tend to have more structure at times like with bedtimes and things like that. We usually will discuss big issues and or rules and come to an agreement but this is a tough one.