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Friend afraid of pregnancy so wants to adopt

Posted August 10, 2015 - 12:59pm

Hi All-- I've got a friend who is afraid of pregnancy and wants to adopt. I want to support her and I know that adoption can be magical but I have some reservations. I want to say that my friend would make an awesome mom but if she is afraid of pregnancy, I fear she might also be afraid of all the responsibilities that go along with being a mom, especially to a young baby.

Am I crazy? How can I encourage my friend and make sure that the baby she adopts is treated with the love it needs?

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I would talk to your friend to find out what exactly is the fear.  Is it about actually being pregnant?  Or about everything that involes being a mother?  I would come to her from a place of safety and tell her you won't judge what it is she has to say.  Maybe she just hasn't talked it all out yet and just isn't making an informed decision!


A lot of people are afraid of the pain associated with pregnancy. I had a bit of this fear before I was pregnant. My best advice is encourage her to focus on loving the child and let that ease the anxiety of pregnancy fears :)


There's a definite difference between being afraid of pregnancy and not being ready for a child. I'd recommend talking to your friend about how the increased responsibility affected your life, and then ask her if she's ready for that. The adoption process can also be very tough. If your friend goes through that, then she'll probably be ready by the end of the process. No matter what, just be ready to support your friend! That's the best thing you can do. 


Maybe before she proceeds with adoption she should book an appointment with her OB/GYN and ask specific questions about what to expect. Is it the worry about her changing body? Is it the pain of delivery? Maybe the doctor or nurse practitioner can ease some of her fears!

Your Kid's Table

That's interesting... I love SunnyKathleen's suggestion. I'm a big believer in knowledge is power.  I'd also encourage her to read some information about the challenges of adoption.