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How to talk to your daughter about her weight?

Posted July 17, 2014 - 4:03pm
My daughter has put on a lot of weight in the past few months. She has a car and uses her own money to buy fast food a lot. We have good and healthy food in the house and I don't know how to talk with her about it because I want her to be healthy but I don't want to hurt her feelings. What and how should I talk with her?
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This is a really hard situation. The most important thing to do is to make sure to be very sensitive about how you go about it and don't ever tell her she's overweight. Maybe try to do more activities together as a family that will get her out exercising. This video is really helpful and may help give you more ideas on how you can go about this. Hope this helps!


I was a little overweight when I was younger and at my parents' anniversary party, my grandmother blurted out "wow, you've gained a lot of weight!" when she saw me.  I was so embarrased and cried for days. But to be honest, it was really a wake up call and I started to want to take better care of myself.  I'm no fitness model or anything but I do try to take care of myself.  Maybe you should just be honest with her.  Any hurt feelings will go away after a while.

Marshall Herff

Sometimes you need to be blunt. Tell her how it is but let her know you are supportive regardless if she stays a lot of weight or not.


Girls already start off with so little confidence you really don't want to blow hers. Perhaps ask her why she feels she is OK with eating healthy at home but seeks unhealthy food when she is out of the house!


Speaking from personal experience, you should never be blunt about these things!  You can come to her from a place of concern, but you have to be delicate.  Do you only keep healthy food in the house?  Maybe if there was some "cheat" food in there, she wouldn't be compelled to go out for it?  Some chips in the house is better than chicken nuggets!


Cheat food is a great suggestion! Maybe have her pair it with something healthy like salsa so she's also getting veggies/fruits :)


There is a good chance that your daughter already knows that she has put on weight. Instead of focusing on the weight gain, focus on creating good exercise and eating habits. Find an active activity that she really enjoys and encourage her to go two or three times a week. The activity doesn't have to be a traditional exercise. My daughter recently got into krav maga, which both burns a lot of calories and teaches her how to defend herself. Exercise, however, isn't enough. The amount you eat affects weight. Instead of singling your daughter out, have the entire family learn about the proper amount to eat per meal. Encourage everyone to not overeat. Hopefully by focusing on the solution instead of the problem, you can limit your daughter's hurt feelings. 


That's a tough situation. Girls can be very sensative about their weight. I agree with Dana. Talk to her about exercise and appropriate amount of food to eat. Focus on the solution, not the problem. Make sure you let her know that your concern is coming from a place of love, not of criticism. 


You could always look up cleaner recipes for the house!  using cauliflower instead of rice, using zucchini noodles instead of pasta, etc.  If they see that the healthier options taste just the same, it won't seem as frightening to them.  I also agree, you could always invoke "family bike rides"


That's great advice! I love the cauliflower as rice trick, it never fails to work in my household. 


We are in the same situation.  My daughter has gained a lot in the past few months during her summer vacation.  Everytime I bug her about it, she would get totally angry and start eating :(.  However, and I noticed this a week ago, once I stopped telling her to watch her weight and be mindful of the junk food she was eating, she started watching what she is eating and exercising.I guess in my daughter's case, she does not want anyone, especially me, maybe, to bother her about her weight...