KidsInTheHouse the Ultimate Parenting Resource
Kids in the House Tour

Self Harm

Posted February 24, 2018 - 5:53pm

My 15yo daughter is self-harming. It had happened just once in 2016 (after an argument with her father) and I didn't find out about that time until much later when she told me. Last summer, she was sexually assaulted by a boy we both knew. Since then, the self-harm has happened much more times. She's been in therapy for over a year. Changed therapists this past fall. Things are getting worse. Last night, she found out that I had found something personal she had written and read it. She got very angry and cursed at me (F You several times). My husband, her dad, got involved and was very angry and grounded her. She screamed and cried (which I actually thought would be good, get the emotions out). I stayed completely calm, even after my H got angry with me. I apologized to my daughter for reading the personal note and explained that I was looking for my phone charger in her room and came across it and read it. We talked things out and she calmed down. I found blood all over her bed the next day so I know she must have cut herself when I went to sleep. I have another appointment with a different therapist but it's not until April 7, which just seems so far off. She has two other therapists she has been seeing. One is for the sexual assault and the other is supposed to be helping her with the self-harm as well as other issues. I don't think either of them is helping her. She even told me last night that she has given up hope and just goes and chats with them and tells them whatever. I am so worried. I feel just awful about this and it's so foreign to me.

4 posts / 0 new
Last post

isabel.f.william

Oh, God! This sounds very bad!I don't really understand to whom she speaks at therapy? Psychologist? Psychiatrist? Psycotherapist? Maybe to combine all thee of them? Because you told she did earlier. And as much as I can conclude from your description, she has serious problem dealing with negative emotions, and is also way in depression mood.Try reading this article about different type of depression. Maybe it can lead you to something.Maybe she just can't connect with those therapists she has right now? Try to talk with her and ask her what is she expecting form one therapist to be like. Ask her what she needs.  Maybe like that you can see some problem in lacking of connection with them.What happend later to that boy? How is she feeling about it. Does she sees him on the streets, in the school? Does that hurts her, does that scares her?And how she feels about other male friends? including brothers if any.Maybe even to consider online therapy? Maybe that would be a better fit for her? Maybe like that she could text her therapist when she really feel upset. I hope this helps just a little bit.


Disash

I had a similar situation. When I was younger I had hard depression and also harmed myself often. My parents have been worried up and I had 5 therapist and there were no any results until I was sent to the hospital, I stayed there for a long time, but thanks to this my condition more or less stabilized. Now I have my own family and a small child, but I still take antidepressants and go to the therapist regularly.


mariemiguel0731

I think the best thing to do is to take her to a psychiatrist or psychologist for treatment