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Should I let my son move back home after college?

Posted July 24, 2014 - 1:53am

My son has just finished college and is having a hard time finding a job. He has asked us if he can move back in with us and of course I wouldn't just let him starve to death but I think he should be standing on his own 2 feet. Was watching a Harry Harrison video that really spoke to me but I am wondering more about what to say to him.

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This is definitely a hard decision but it's an important conversation to have with your husband. Maybe have him pay rent so he has a sense of responsibility and motivation to get a job. Here is a really good video about launching adult children.


My son went through the exact same situation. I had always told him during college that he had to find a job during his senior year because once school was up, we wouldn't be supporting him anymore. He was able to get one, but a week before he was about to start the offer was pulled since the company was no longer to afford him. My wife and I continued to support him, giving him just enough for rent and food, but told him that we would only do so for three months. Luckily he was able to find a new job before then. If he had not found one within 3 months, we probably would still continue to support him, but only as long as he continued to treat his job search as if it were his job, which he did. The reason being that my son has had a number of friends move back home and once they do, they immediately lose all motivation and ambition when it comes to finding a career so we wanted to make sure he remained in the city and with his roommates who were all working hard so that he would stay in an environment where he could stay motivated.

Marshall Herff

There's over 138 million jobs in america...he can't find even just 1 job? may be harsh but if he was my son, he can stay home but only if he pays part of the bills.


A LOT of recent graduates move home these days so that they can start saving up. If you can host him, I say go for it. Just make sure he has a job and isn't using you as a crutch!


My son isn't college age yet..but I tend to agree. 


I would just monitor what he was doing in his free time when he was home.  If he spends half the day applying to jobs and no one is getting back to him, then what can you ask for?  These days it takes longer to find a job than we expect, so you just have to be patient.  And don't make him feel like you're counting the days until he moves out because that would be a bad move. 


Youth unemployment levels have risen and it can be very hard for recent college graduates to find jobs. It may not be ideal, but you might have to let your child live at home again with you. Try doing it on a provisional status- he can live with you if he's actively looking for a new job every day and if he does his share of work at home (paying a small portion of the bills, washing dishes, running errands). Depending on his progress and how he's using his time, you can decide every month whether or not his living at home is okay. 


I understand what you mean about wanting your son to stand on his own two feet. I'm not sure what I would do if I was in your situation. Perhaps sit down with him and try to figure out a way where you can support him for the time being while he figures out how to become independent again. 


You definitely need to sit down with him and walk through what sort of effort you expect.  If he doesn't know what you're looking for, how can he try and satisfy the request?


You should let him move back in. Your kid should have some safety net and he needs to know that no matter what he can rely on his parents.