Trying to conceive after a miscarriage

Fertility Specialist Elaine Gordon, PhD, offers advice and support for couples who are trying to conceive after a miscarriage and how to tell when you are ready to try again
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Trying to conceive after a miscarriage

I think when you've recently miscarried, it's important to mourn that loss. You've had a loss. You wanted something very badly, and it wasn't working out or has not worked out. In terms of taking care of yourself and seeing if you are ready to start again, is to really look at yourself, talk to yourself, maybe speak with a professional. Really go over how you are feeling and what's going on with you. What happens in time is you may not be completely ready, not 100 percent ready, but you are ready enough to start and try again. You don't have to be completely at peace with the miscarriage because it's going to be part of your history. That doesn't mean you can't move down another path and try to have a child.
PREGNANCY, Miscarriage and Loss

Fertility Specialist Elaine Gordon, PhD, offers advice and support for couples who are trying to conceive after a miscarriage and how to tell when you are ready to try again


Expert Bio

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Elaine Gordon, PhD

Fertility Specialist

Elaine Gordon is a Clinical Psychologist with a specialty in infertility, child development, reproductive medicine, and third party family building.  Besides her role as a therapist and group facilitator working with patients struggling with infertility related issues, she lectures on various topics surrounding the psychological and ethical issues of contemporary family building. Dr. Gordon is the author of Mommy, Did I grow in your Tummy? Where Many Babies Come From a children’s book dedicated to explaining a child’s unique reproductive beginnings whether it be IVF, egg donation, sperm donation, surrogacy or adoption.

Her professional associations include The American Psychological Association, The American Society for Reproductive Medicine and The American Fertility Association. She has served, as the educational chair for the Psychological Special Interest Group of the ASRM, is a member of the educational committee of ASRM.  She has served on various committees regarding many aspects of reproductive medicine. Dr. Gordon’s clinical work involves individual therapy, group process for couples and individuals, staff training for programs involved in reproductive medicine and third party screening and evaluations for all participants.

Dr. Gordon is well versed in both the medical and psychological aspects of reproductive medicine utilizing third parties. Her involvement in egg donation and surrogacy programs has stimulated an interest in the issues surrounding secrecy and disclosure in third party parenting. Related to the disclosure/nondisclosure issue is the need to assess the advantages and disadvantages of open versus closed donation policies. She lectures on disclosure policies and how you talk to children about non-traditional family building with the focus being the best interest of the child. 

Throughout her career as a psychologist she has become increasingly concerned about the ethical and moral dilemmas inherent in growing field of reproductive medicine. She has co-authored a chapter entitled "Legal and Ethical Aspects of Infertility Counseling" in the textbook Infertility Counseling: A Comprehensive Handbook for Clinicians. Dr. Gordon is currently involved in several research projects investigating the psychological implication of using egg and or sperm donation as a means of building families. She continues to work with other professionals in establishing a ‘standard of care” policy for the infertility patient and third party participants.

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