Infertility and your sex life

Fertility Specialist Elaine Gordon, PhD. explains how infertility can affect a couple's sex life and shares advice on how to overcome the psychological barriers in order to still have great sex
How Infertility Can Affect Your Sex Life -
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Infertility and your sex life

The infertility experience will affect your sex life. And, the reason for that is that people confuse baby making and love making. And, what a good plan is to really, for those struggling with infertility or those that have infertility challenges, is to separate love making and baby making and really look at them as two different events. I really encourage people to continue their love making whether they feel like it or not just to maintain intimacy and staying close to your partner. And, not associating them or timing that with trying to conceive. Conception will take place either in a doctor's office, in a surgical unit or even at home, but that is you allocate that time to baby making. And, by doing that, the interference is not as great.
PREGNANCY, Sex and Relationship

Fertility Specialist Elaine Gordon, PhD. explains how infertility can affect a couple's sex life and shares advice on how to overcome the psychological barriers in order to still have great sex


Expert Bio

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Elaine Gordon, PhD

Fertility Specialist

Elaine Gordon is a Clinical Psychologist with a specialty in infertility, child development, reproductive medicine, and third party family building.  Besides her role as a therapist and group facilitator working with patients struggling with infertility related issues, she lectures on various topics surrounding the psychological and ethical issues of contemporary family building. Dr. Gordon is the author of Mommy, Did I grow in your Tummy? Where Many Babies Come From a children’s book dedicated to explaining a child’s unique reproductive beginnings whether it be IVF, egg donation, sperm donation, surrogacy or adoption.

Her professional associations include The American Psychological Association, The American Society for Reproductive Medicine and The American Fertility Association. She has served, as the educational chair for the Psychological Special Interest Group of the ASRM, is a member of the educational committee of ASRM.  She has served on various committees regarding many aspects of reproductive medicine. Dr. Gordon’s clinical work involves individual therapy, group process for couples and individuals, staff training for programs involved in reproductive medicine and third party screening and evaluations for all participants.

Dr. Gordon is well versed in both the medical and psychological aspects of reproductive medicine utilizing third parties. Her involvement in egg donation and surrogacy programs has stimulated an interest in the issues surrounding secrecy and disclosure in third party parenting. Related to the disclosure/nondisclosure issue is the need to assess the advantages and disadvantages of open versus closed donation policies. She lectures on disclosure policies and how you talk to children about non-traditional family building with the focus being the best interest of the child. 

Throughout her career as a psychologist she has become increasingly concerned about the ethical and moral dilemmas inherent in growing field of reproductive medicine. She has co-authored a chapter entitled "Legal and Ethical Aspects of Infertility Counseling" in the textbook Infertility Counseling: A Comprehensive Handbook for Clinicians. Dr. Gordon is currently involved in several research projects investigating the psychological implication of using egg and or sperm donation as a means of building families. She continues to work with other professionals in establishing a ‘standard of care” policy for the infertility patient and third party participants.

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