Reconnecting with a teen who is drifting away

Susan Stiffelman, MFT Author and Therapist, shares advice for parents on how to reconnect with their teen when they are drifting away
Reconnecting With Your Teen Who Is Drifting Away
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Reconnecting with a teen who is drifting away

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How can you reconnect with a teen who is drifting away? Boy, don't give up. Be on it. One of my favorite books is "Hold on to Your Kids," by Gordon Neufeld. He talks about this notion that we have to hold on to them. It's not their job. We are the ones that have to show that we are not giving up, that we care. A lot of times, a teen will give a lot of cues that suggest that we are the last person on Earth that they want to be in the same room with, but there are ways. If you think in smaller units of time. Say for ten minutes you sit together and play with the dog or something interesting. You empower them. One of the things that teens are up against is that their parents, more than anyone else, make them feel little. They have a developmental imperative that they grow up, move away, and separate. If we come along side them in such a way that we respect their opinions, sensibilities, and we are curious about them and what they believe, they are going to be receptive. If every time we walk in the room we carry the aroma of an agenda, then they are going to pull away.

Susan Stiffelman, MFT Author and Therapist, shares advice for parents on how to reconnect with their teen when they are drifting away

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Susan Stiffelman, MFT

Author & Therapist

Susan Stiffelman is the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Connected and the weekly parenting advice columnist at the Huffington Post. You can sign up for Susan's free parenting newsletter. 

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