Creating curfews for teens
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A lot of time we see parents get caught up in the details of curfews, and they miss their actual importance. Curfews are less about fixed points in time and more about keeping your kids in the presence of adult supervision and oversight or at least in transition from one point to another where the oversight will resume. The core issue here is this--unsupervised teens. Unsupervised teens, over time, are more likely to make really bad decisions, and when they're unsupervised, and essentially unsupervised teens are a recipe for disaster. When you try to develop a curfew for your kids, you have to look at a couple of different variables. When does the event start? When does the event end? How long does it take you to get from here to there? That's how you develop a rational curfew. Now, it's important to note that adult oversight does not mean you have to keep your eyes on your kids for the next ten years for every single waking moment. Any other adult can substitute or slot in for you--the coach at the game, the chaperone at the dance, even the manager at the movie theater. All they have to do is look at your kid, and your kid changes their behavior because of that. It's really important to remember, too, don't get married to a specific point in time for a curfew. If you, over a couple of minutes, cause your kid to miss some incredibly important event in their lives, you're going to really not do them any favors there, and curfews then become a really negative aspect of their lives. Try to be reasonable and flexible when you develop a curfew. If the end of the event doesn't exceed all bounds of reason, try to work with your kid to find a way to get them to go to the event, and you can actually use curfews as a negotiating chip. Try it when you're trying to work out other issues with your teenagers.
View Jonathan Scott's video on Creating curfews for teens...
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Jonathan ScottDrug Prevention Speaker, Author & Dad
Miles to Go educators, Jonathan and Kelly are professional speakers, writers and parents who specialize in drug prevention education for students, teachers and parents. Working from their base in Southern California, they have spent the past 17 years lecturing in the private school community using humor, science and multi-sensory teaching techniques to simplify a complex subject. Their first book, Not All Kids Do Drugs came out in 2010 and their second The Mother’s Checklist of Drug Prevention in 2011. Their third book, Where’s The Party was published in 2012.
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