Helping kids deal with negative peer pressure

Psychotherapist Jonathan Nadlman, MFT, shares advice for parents on the best methods for teaching your children how to resist negative peer pressure
How To Teach Kids To Deal With Negative Peer Pressure
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Helping kids deal with negative peer pressure

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Negative peer pressure around adolescents in teen years is a profound thing that we confront as parents. There’s a very, very interesting study done very recently that showed the number one variable to contributes to our young boys and girls being able to stand in their opinions is by working this stuff out with their parents. Unfortunately, for us as parents, it means we need to be willing to argue with our kids. When our kids ask us why I can’t do that, sit down with them and tell them exactly your thinking. “I’m not okay with you doing this, because I don’t trust you. Here is the 7 reasons why I don’t and I really want to. Here is what I would need to see.” But, if you’re going to be willing to argue with your kids – and you need to – you also need to be willing to change your opinions when their arguments make sense. “Why can’t I go to bed at 9 o’clock? I get up every single morning and I’m ready to go to school. I don’t give you a hard time and I’m in the car before you are.” It’s time to change their bedtime. You want to allow them to work on their critical thinking skills, so that their opinions are well thought out. “Because my mom and dad said so,” will never stop a kid from smoking a joint. He’s going to have to be able to have that internally based value system and he’s going to have to work it out with you.

Psychotherapist Jonathan Nadlman, MFT, shares advice for parents on the best methods for teaching your children how to resist negative peer pressure

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Jonathan Nadlman, MFT

Psychotherapist

Jonathan Nadlman, MFT, is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice since 1995, and has been counseling adults, couples, young people and their families for twenty-four years.  For the past seven years, he has been teaching Human Development and puberty as a rite-of-passage at many independent schools. Jonathan was the supervising therapist at Pacific Hills Middle and High School for six years. In addition, he is a facilitator of rites-of-passage workshops for adolescents teens and adults.  When he is not working, he can be found trying to change wood into art, learning his djembe, or in the garden with his wife and seven year old daughter. Or on occasion, if there's a swell, riding the California surf.

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