When parents secretly favor one kid over the other, they often feel very guilty about it. I try to help them by letting them know that, “Instead of feeling guilty, let’s take action.” And here is the action plan: spend more time with the child that you feel least connected to. Spend more time with the child who doesn’t necessarily speak to your heart, who may not even be that much fun for you to be with – maybe it’s because you have different temperaments, or maybe you’ve the same temperament and you don’t like seeing yourself in them – whatever the reason is, you spend more one-on-one, uninterrupted time getting to know the child. We don’t owe our kids the inner, secret feeling that we love both of them the same. We don’t owe that to them. That won’t impact them. What we do owe them: getting to know each of them uniquely, getting to know them uniquely, finding what’s delicious about them and reflecting it back to the child. In that way, you’ll feel less guilty.