Favoring one child

Pamela Varady, PsyD Psychologist and Parenting Expert, shares advice for parents on what to do when you favor one child more and how to become closer with the other(s)
Parenting Tips | What To Do When Parents Favor One Child More
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Favoring one child

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When parents secretly favor one kid over the other, they often feel very guilty about it. I try to help them by letting them know that, “Instead of feeling guilty, let’s take action.” And here is the action plan: spend more time with the child that you feel least connected to. Spend more time with the child who doesn’t necessarily speak to your heart, who may not even be that much fun for you to be with – maybe it’s because you have different temperaments, or maybe you’ve the same temperament and you don’t like seeing yourself in them – whatever the reason is, you spend more one-on-one, uninterrupted time getting to know the child. We don’t owe our kids the inner, secret feeling that we love both of them the same. We don’t owe that to them. That won’t impact them. What we do owe them: getting to know each of them uniquely, getting to know them uniquely, finding what’s delicious about them and reflecting it back to the child. In that way, you’ll feel less guilty.

Pamela Varady, PsyD Psychologist and Parenting Expert, shares advice for parents on what to do when you favor one child more and how to become closer with the other(s)

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Pamela Varady, PsyD

Psychologist

Dr. Pamela Varady is a Child and Adult Psychologist and sought-after parenting expert. She has appeared as a relationship expert on NBC, Discovery Health Network, The Today Show and Fox TV.  Dr. Varady wrote a workbook, 15 Minutes To Sibling Harmony and conducts seminars and Purposeful Parenting Classes throughout Southern California. In addition, Dr. Varady operates Dynamic Learning and Listening Center for children with special needs with her husband, Dr. Jackson Varady and sister, Dr. Jennifer Glasser, who are also psychologists. Pamela lives in Santa Monica with her husband and 13 year old twin boys.

 

 

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