When one sibling is too accommodating
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Pamela Varady, PsyD Psychologist and Parent Expert, shares advice for parents of a child who is too accommodating to their siblings on how to teach them to stand up for themselves and be less accommodating
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Sometimes one sibling is always accommodating to another sibling either because the sibling is loud, crying, and annoying and they just want the sound to go away, or because they are very sensitive to the other sibling's feelings.
Whatever it is, the parents need protect the child that is accommodating and encourage them to stop, to pause, to go inside, and really check out, is this a time where I really want to be accommodating? For example, if two kids are fighting or arguing over a toy, the one who's accommodating may say, "Here, just take it." If the parents are there, it would be important to say, "Wait a minute, Sally. I want you to stop and think and go inside, do I really want to give up this toy? Is this one of those days that I'm ready to give it up?" Even if the child gives it -- and that's a fine thing to do -- the message that you are sending is: Your needs are important, too.
Each sibling gets to hear that this siblings needs are just as important. That's a really good way to help a child become less accommodating.
Pamela Varady, PsyD Psychologist and Parent Expert, shares advice for parents of a child who is too accommodating to their siblings on how to teach them to stand up for themselves and be less accommodating
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Pamela Varady, PsyDPsychologist
Dr. Pamela Varady is a Child and Adult Psychologist and sought-after parenting expert. She has appeared as a relationship expert on NBC, Discovery Health Network, The Today Show and Fox TV. Dr. Varady wrote a workbook, 15 Minutes To Sibling Harmony and conducts seminars and Purposeful Parenting Classes throughout Southern California. In addition, Dr. Varady operates Dynamic Learning and Listening Center for children with special needs with her husband, Dr. Jackson Varady and sister, Dr. Jennifer Glasser, who are also psychologists. Pamela lives in Santa Monica with her husband and 13 year old twin boys.
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