Should I stay out of it when my kids' fight?

Pamela Varady, PsyD Psychologist and Family Coach, shares advice for parents on the best way to help siblings resolve fights without getting overly involved
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Should I stay out of it when my kids' fight?

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Often, parents are told that they should stay out of their kids fighting. I think what that means is that you shouldn't be the judge and say he was right and you were wrong, that kind of thing. I think it is actually very important that we are involved, but in a very light way. It's almost like putting a very light foot on the gas pedal. I call it TAP, it's an acronym. "T" means translate. Translate what is going on for them. "Your mad because he took your lego, and you think that you should have the lego because it is the last one." Narrate and translate what is going on for them. Tune in to each of their feelings. That's the "A," accurate attunement. The last step is "P," problem solve. Translate what is going on, accurately attune into what's going on, and then problem solve. That's a great way to be involved.

Pamela Varady, PsyD Psychologist and Family Coach, shares advice for parents on the best way to help siblings resolve fights without getting overly involved

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Pamela Varady, PsyD

Psychologist

Dr. Pamela Varady is a Child and Adult Psychologist and sought-after parenting expert. She has appeared as a relationship expert on NBC, Discovery Health Network, The Today Show and Fox TV.  Dr. Varady wrote a workbook, 15 Minutes To Sibling Harmony and conducts seminars and Purposeful Parenting Classes throughout Southern California. In addition, Dr. Varady operates Dynamic Learning and Listening Center for children with special needs with her husband, Dr. Jackson Varady and sister, Dr. Jennifer Glasser, who are also psychologists. Pamela lives in Santa Monica with her husband and 13 year old twin boys.

 

 

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