Talking to kids about their adoption

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Talking to kids about their adoption

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One of the biggest questions that an adoptive parent will wrestle with is: How do I tell my child they are adopted? When do I tell my child they are adopted? It's a very personal question that can very much depend on the circumstances. In my instance, I'm Caucasion and my son is African American, so our color difference was very evident from the beginning. I really followed his lead. When he started asking about babies being in tummies, that is when I broke the news to him. I think he was about three, and that he did not grow in my tummy. You answer your child as to the answer you think they can handle in that moment. You can tell, because you'll answer a question. I said, "You didn't come out of my tummy." I was starting to elaborate and he was on to another subject. Our answer has been growing as he's been getting older. We are now in the process of making a life book to actually explain the whole story about how he came to be adopted.

Watch Kathy Gordon's video on Talking to kids about their adoption...

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Kathy Gordon

Parent Educator

Kathy Gordon is the single adoptive mother of a very spirited nine year-old boy, but was not prepared for the challenges of parenting a child whose brain was developed under stress. When her son was three, Kathy had the good fortune of taking parenting classes with Ruth Beaglehole, founding Director of the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting, (theechocenter.org), and she realized this powerful compassionate method of working with children was something she wanted to teach. She has been a teacher, director and coach most of her adult life. Kathy was certified as a Parent Educator through the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting in May of 2008, and will now continue her training by becoming a Certified Hand-in-Hand Parenting Parent Educator. Kathy works with families individually, teaches parenting classes and facilitates trainings for educators and schools communities. Her practice is called Unconditional Connection because we all long for connection, and we long to be unconditionally loved. We live in a society in which we are continually judged by our behavior. Kathy offers research-based information and tools to help people look underneath and beyond the behavior, so that we may be more unconditionally connected thus creating a world of cooperation and peace. 

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