Letting go for strong co-parenting

Learn about: Letting go for strong co-parenting from Lauren Sandler, MA,...
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Letting go for strong co-parenting

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I was someone who was really devoted to co-parenting with my husband. I didn't want to have to make a spreadsheet. I didn't want to have make a checklist. I didn't want to have to fight about it. I just wanted it to happen naturally. And I'm really lucky that I had a kid with a partner who is just right there for all the domestic responsibility and all the fun of parenting. But one thing that I learned early on is that so many of us just have to let go of the particulars. So if I had bought my daughter just the cutest little outfit, and he ended up putting her in something that was not the cutest little outfit, I was going to have to keep my mouth shut about that. Or if thank you notes weren't written. All these different ways that I think women especially try to curate and perfect our own domestic world. I mean, honestly, a lot of people who we're co-parenting with have different visions of those things and want us to let go of a lot of those things. So for me, it's been an exercise in letting go. My daughter's wardrobe is nothing like I envisioned it when she was a baby. So many things that we do in our lives are not exactly how I would have tailor-made them. But that I think is one of the great lessons of parenting, not just letting go with our children, but also letting go with our partners.

Learn about: Letting go for strong co-parenting from Lauren Sandler, MA,...

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Lauren Sandler, MA

Journalist & Author

Lauren Sandler is the author of One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child and the Joy of Being One, and a journalist who writes on cultural politics and gender issues for publications like Time, The New York Times, and Slate. And she’s as an only child and the mother of one herself. 

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