Parenting tips for raising an only child

Lauren Sandler, MA, Journalist, and Author of One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child and the Joy of Being One, shares her top tips for parents of an only child
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Parenting tips for raising an only child

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Raising a happy, generous and social only child is the stuff of mindful parenting, just like raising a happy, generous and social child with lots of siblings I believe is mindful parenting. You teach a kid your values, and you teach that kid your values whether they have siblings or not. And you need to listen to your child and really address your child on their terms based on what they need, who they are authentically and that´s something that you need to do whether you have more children or not. So there are some things I think are particular to having only one. When all of your resources are devoted to one child, you do need to know when to hold back, which means holding back attention at times as much as holding back more financial things like toys or books or any of that. Get your kid a library card or make sure that it doesn´t always have to be a new toy all the time. There are ways to be creative whether you have a lot of money or you don´t, whether you have more children or not, but it does take some mindfulness. The other element is making sure that there are other kids around, kids that your child chooses to have really wonderful relationships with, who become their chosen family, who can not only be playmates but can also help them learn through all the conflict and competition that they are missing out on by not having siblings. Children learn to share not just with siblings but also with school and within friendships and with parents who know how to say no to them. And I think that that´s important too is I think that we have become so fixated on our kids´happiness that we forget that it is really important to exert authority, to say no, to set limits, and I think that´s especially important with an only child.

Lauren Sandler, MA, Journalist, and Author of One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child and the Joy of Being One, shares her top tips for parents of an only child

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Lauren Sandler, MA

Journalist & Author

Lauren Sandler is the author of One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child and the Joy of Being One, and a journalist who writes on cultural politics and gender issues for publications like Time, The New York Times, and Slate. And she’s as an only child and the mother of one herself. 

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