The importance of the mother-son relationship

Family Counselor & Author Michael Gurian, MFA, CMHC, shares advice for parents on the importance of having a strong mother-son relationship and how to strengthening it
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The importance of the mother-son relationship

Sometimes you, as a woman, will be relating to a man and you'll think, "Something is going on here. He gets close to me and then he pulls away." If you and he are in love, it's possible that's what happened is he was in such a push/pull with his mom growing up. There was such a push/pull with his mom, he projects on to you. He doesn't know he is doing it. It's not malicious. You, without knowing it, may project your father on to him; especially if you had a push/pull with your father and you had complications with your father. Now, we have a woman and a man who are projecting people from their own past. This happens a lot, especially when boys don't fully psychologically separate from their moms. By psychologically separating, I don't mean stop loving them. They always love their moms. I mean, they separate self, so that they no longer go to mom to feel whole. They become adult men who know how to feel whole. They bring that wholeness into their marriage or into the one they love. That's what we want. Sometimes that doesn't happen. Sometimes the men are still caught with their moms. That is something that really needs counseling. If you are having that push/pull and it is tearing your relationship apart, that guy really needs counseling to resolve issues with his mom.

Family Counselor & Author Michael Gurian, MFA, CMHC, shares advice for parents on the importance of having a strong mother-son relationship and how to strengthening it


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Michael Gurian, MFA, CMHC

Family Counselor & Author

Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of 25 books published in 21 languages. He provides counseling services at the Marycliff Center, in Spokane, Washington. The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals. Michael has been called "the people's philosopher" for his ability to bring together people's ordinary lives and scientific ideas.

 He has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including The Wonder of Girls, The Wonder of Boys, and Boys and Girls Learn Differently!, and The Minds of Boys.

Michael has served as a consultant to families, corporations, therapists, physicians, school districts, community agencies, churches, criminal justice personnel and other professionals, traveling to approximately 20 cities per year to keynote at conferences. His training videos (also available as DVDs) for parents and volunteers are used by Big Brother and Big Sister agencies in the U.S. and Canada.

 As an educator, Michael previously taught at Gonzaga University, Eastern Washington University, and Ankara University.  His speaking engagements include Harvard University, Johns Hopkins University, Stanford University, Macalester College, University of Colorado, University of Missouri-Kansas City, and UCLA. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael's work has been featured in various media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, Reader's Digest, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Parenting, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

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