When it's time for boys to separate from mom

Learn about: When it's time for boys to separate from mom from Michael Gurian, MFA, CMHC,...
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When it's time for boys to separate from mom

One of the most profound experiences for any mother of a son, who is an adolescent boy and feel the separation. Of course, it happens with the adolescent girl, too. Every child has to separate from the mom and the dad in order for them to grow up. Between moms and sons, it can be really wrenching, sometimes because that son was so close when he was five, ten, or twelve. The testosterone hits and the boy starts to become a male, he knows he's not female. He knows he has to separate from you as the mom. That's very painful, yet it's something that has to happen for boy to grow up. In previous cultures, the men helped the women. They said, as the son is pushing against mom now, you can feel the friction. He's not responding the way he used to, the men come and help. If there are any men around you, get help from those men so you are not spending four years in a constant battle with this guy. He reacts against you and at some point, he turns against you. You don't want that. What you want is a system of energy, male and female, to help him grow up so it doesn't all fall on you. If you are a single mom and you know no other men, go to a church. Go anywhere where you can find mentors, so that you are not got up in this and lose this guy when he is an adult.

Learn about: When it's time for boys to separate from mom from Michael Gurian, MFA, CMHC,...


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Michael Gurian, MFA, CMHC

Family Counselor & Author

Michael Gurian is the New York Times bestselling author of 25 books published in 21 languages. He provides counseling services at the Marycliff Center, in Spokane, Washington. The Gurian Institute, which he co-founded, conducts research internationally, launches pilot programs and trains professionals. Michael has been called "the people's philosopher" for his ability to bring together people's ordinary lives and scientific ideas.

 He has pioneered efforts to bring neuro-biology and brain research into homes, schools, corporations, and public policy. A number of his books have sparked national debate, including The Wonder of Girls, The Wonder of Boys, and Boys and Girls Learn Differently!, and The Minds of Boys.

Michael has served as a consultant to families, corporations, therapists, physicians, school districts, community agencies, churches, criminal justice personnel and other professionals, traveling to approximately 20 cities per year to keynote at conferences. His training videos (also available as DVDs) for parents and volunteers are used by Big Brother and Big Sister agencies in the U.S. and Canada.

 As an educator, Michael previously taught at Gonzaga University, Eastern Washington University, and Ankara University.  His speaking engagements include Harvard University, Johns Hopkins University, Stanford University, Macalester College, University of Colorado, University of Missouri-Kansas City, and UCLA. His philosophy reflects the diverse cultures (European, Asian, Middle Eastern and American) in which he has lived, worked and studied.

Michael's work has been featured in various media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, Newsweek, Time, People Magazine, Reader's Digest, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes Magazine, Parenting, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and on the Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, PBS and National Public Radio.

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