The innate need in kids for praise

Christine Carter, PhD Sociologist and Happiness Expert, explains how kids don't have an innate need for praise, but rather need praise for their practice and their efforts
Parenting Tips | Do Kids Have An Innate Need For Praise
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The innate need in kids for praise

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I don't think kids have an innate need for praise. That doesn't mean that they don't love it, when we praise them. Different types of praise have different effects on kids. If a kid has been getting a lot of praise about how smart they are, for example. They are going to feel like they need that praise as a barometer for how well they are doing. We want kids to develop an internal barometer for how well they are doing. We want them to know how well they are doing, where they are going, and what they are doing in life based on their own criteria. It's much easier for kids to understand what we expect of them and what their teachers expect of them, and to go about life based on other people's judgments. That can be a little bit of an addictive feeling. Instead, we praise their practice and their effort, things that aren't innate. We praise the process in order to stay engaged with the process, with who they are, with what they want in life.

Christine Carter, PhD Sociologist and Happiness Expert, explains how kids don't have an innate need for praise, but rather need praise for their practice and their efforts

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Christine Carter, PhD

Sociologist & Happiness Expert

A sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, Christine Carter, PhD is the author of Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents. Dr. Carter also writes an award-winning blog for Greater Good, which is syndicated on the Huffington Post and PsychologyToday.com. Carter has helped thousands of parents find more joy in their parenting while raising happy, successful and resilient kids. Known for her parenting and relationship advice, Carter draws on psychology, sociology, neuroscience, and uses her own chaotic and often hilarious real-world adventures to demonstrate the do’s and don’ts in action.

After receiving her B.A. from Dartmouth College, where she was a Senior Fellow, Dr. Carter worked in marketing management and school administration, going on to receive her PhD. in sociology from UC Berkeley. Dr. Carter has been quoted in The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, the Chicago Tribune, the San Francisco Chronicle and dozens of other publications. She has appeared on the “Oprah Winfrey Show,” the “TODAY” show, the “Rachael Ray Morning Show,” “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” “CBS Sunday Morning,” “ABC World News with Diane Sawyer” and NPR.

Carter has been a keynote speaker at hundreds of events and professional groups. In 2010, she received an award from the Council on Contemporary Families for her outstanding science-based reporting on family issues. In 2011 she won Red Tricycle’s award for the “Most Awesome Parent Education,” and so far in 2012 she has been nominated for a Bammy Award and for an award from the American Sociological Association for public sociology.

Dr. Carter teaches parenting classes online throughout the year to a global audience on raisinghappiness.com. She lives with her family in Berkeley, CA.

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