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Why Do Moms Always Talk About Wine? Replacing the Jokes with Honest Conversations

Why do moms always talk about coffee and wine? Referencing the fact that talk of both beverages constantly fills up her Facebook feed, Kristen Schrotberger says she’s over the rampant liking of posts that reference the need for more coffee and wine. Her very matter-of-fact post on Scary Mommy sheds some light on why any conversation about alcohol and coffee is instantly popular. It’s because we parents are so exhausted from the constant multitasking we need to relax. Coffee picks us up, wine helps us wind down.

But why is it so difficult to have a real conversation about our need for relaxation? Is it so hard to be matter-of-fact about the pleasure that comes with enjoying a glass of wine with dinner? Why can’t we come to terms with that it really is ok to be honest about finally sitting down, putting your feet up, and watching that favorite show that lets your mind take a vacation from daily life as you sip a glass? Do we feel judged if we say when I need a glass of wine, what I’m really saying is I need to make time for myself?

Gabrielle Glaser, author of Her Best Kept Secret: Why Women Drink and How They Can Regain Control recently visited to talk the newest team of Talk Earlybloggers at the annual blogger Summit saying “Drinking can be fun. It has a place in your lives and is a healthy thing to do.”

Like Schrotberger, Glaser has also noticed the frequent conversations about drinking as a release on social media. She believes other moms identify with a woman’s need to have a glass of wine after a hard day. This way of connecting is “easier than sharing what’s really going on especially on social media” but she encourages parents to “be mindful about your drinking.”

While it may seem like an oxymoron, mindful drinking is important. Having honest conversations with our kids about why we drink and then showing them what responsible consumption looks like creates open lines of communication and models the kinds of behaviors we expect from them.

“What you may intend to say as funny, especially about drinking, might not be interpreted that way by your kids,” Haley Kilpatrick told a group of blogging parents at the May 2014 Mom 2.0 Summit in Atlanta. The Founder & Executive Director of the nonprofit organization, Girl Talk, and author of The Drama Years: Real Girls Talk About Surviving Middle School– Bullies, Brands, Body Image, and More encouraged attendees to be mindful of their actions because what we may intend to say as funny, especially about drinking, might not be interpreted that way by our kids. Kilpatrick urged us to pause, taking a minute to ask ourselves if “Is what you’re saying true, helpful, important, necessary, and kind?”

As parents, we’re role models for our kids 24/7 whether we like it or not so let’s refresh our funny. Starting today let’s resolve to be more mindful about alcohol with friends in favor of real and honest conversations about drinking with our children because it’s sounding like we’re all getting a bit tired of the snide remarks about alcohol and parenting. 

This post was authored by Leticia Barr, who operates, writes at and is a member of's Educational Advisory Board.

*The views and opinions expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility ( or any member.*

Ralph Blackman's picture

Ralph Blackman is President and CEO of the Foundation for Advancing Alcohol Responsibility. The Foundation has transformed countless lives through programs that contributed to significant reductions in drunk driving and underage drinking.  Funded for more than 23 years by the nation’s leading distillers, they bring individuals, families and communities together to guide a lifetime of conversations around alcohol responsibility.