Using the right tone

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Using the right tone

Some of the methodologies that you want to remember in asking your children to do what you want them to do, is remember your tone. Because you can actually change your tone and you can change how they are going to react. You could actually say to a kid, "Eat that banana split!" You can take all the fun out of eating the banana split, depending on how you ask. When you are asking them to do things like clean their room, you don't say, "You have got to clean your room!" It almost sends a message to them, like, hey let's tango. Let's fight here because you are asking me something I really don't want to do. Just by the tone. It's not like you have to get out the pom-poms and be a cheerleader to get them to do things, but try to keep at least a neutral tone when you ask them to do something. Do a little bit of what I call "hope instilling." Make sure that after they clean the room, there's something to look forward to. "After you clean your room, we are going to have dinner and watch your favorite TV program." Make sure they have something to look forward to because, especially little kids, they are going to be like, "Oh my gosh, I'm cleaning my room." That seems like an eternity for them. So keep that balance.

See Chris Fulton, PhD's video on Using the right tone...


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Chris Fulton, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Dr. Christopher Fulton is a licensed clinical psychologist and has been in private practice for over ten years. He received his doctorate in 1994 from the California School of Professional Psychology, Los Angeles. Dr. Fulton has clinical training and experience in a variety of settings, and also has administrative, teaching, supervision, consulting, research and psychological testing experience. Dr. Fulton provides consultation and ongoing therapy for children, adolescents and adults. He conducts group, individual, couples and family therapy and actively works with a variety of childhood disorders, including: adjustment disorder, ADHD, anxiety, depression, oppositional defiant and other emotional-behavioral disorders. Among his most frequent areas of concentration is divorce, for which Dr. Fulton offers therapy for all involved.

Utilizing research-supported methods in treatment, Dr. Fulton's approach to therapy involves a combination of cognitive-behavioral, family systems and interpersonal interventions. In his work with children, Dr. Fulton involves parents and assists them in developing appropriate responses to their children, since he believes that ultimately the parent will make the most significant impact on the child. Dr. Fulton helps parents establish appropriate boundaries, communication and methods of discipline in order to increase positive relationships with their children.

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