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Signs of Bullying in my Kids?

Posted February 26, 2013 - 1:09pm
What would be the top ten signs that my child might be bullying others at school. He is a 10 year old male.

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I have an issue where I feel the male child is actually bullying the father. The father has no respect from his son. They do have a different life situation where dad works away the house 4 days a week and mom is there 7 days a week. The kids look to mom as the final word. The son is now 14 and shows no respect and that is getting worse in that it extends to his aunts and uncles. He has a inflated view of himself that I am not sure where he got. He does have some personality quircks and goes to a small private school with a class of about 9 kids. This year is the first year where he has been included. I don't know why but his behavior hasn't changed at home. Is he a bully to his dad? He is mouthy and never stands down. I would love some suggestions for my brother. And without you even asking, yes, his wife does nothing to help change the matter. She likes being the only parent in charge. He should lose weight but when dad isn't home, they are always eating out. It is becoming a big problem health wise.

A great book on this topic is Barbara Coloroso's The Bully, The Bullied, and The Bystander. She says that the characteristics of bullies include liking to dominate and use others, having difficulty seeing a situation from the viewpoint of others, blaming others for their own inadequacies, viewing weaker peers as "prey", lacking foresight, craving attention, and refusing to accept responsibility for their actions. This is a very inclusive, easy to read book. I highly recommend it.

Also, I have to recommend watching Michael Bradley's videos on this site; he has so much GREAT wisdom for raising good teens. Would definitely help. Also, Michael Riera.

Honestly? I think the top signs would be the same as any other problem - withdrawing, not wanting to attend social functions or go to school, headaches, stomachaches, bruises (if it is physical bullying), unexplained tears, etc. Kids at this age usually will still talk to a parent (unlike teens who hide things) but if they are ashamed or scared to tell, it will show up in other ways.