Challenges of same-sex couples during assisted reproduction

Kim Bergman, PhD Family Therapist, explains the challenges that same-sex couples often face during assisted reproduction
Challenges Of Same-Sex Couples During Assisted Reproduction
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Challenges of same-sex couples during assisted reproduction

So if you're two women, and it's really not that different for two men, but we'll talk about two women because the logistics are sort of clearer to understand, and you're wanting to have a child, one of the things that you're going to have to figure out is who's going to carry the child, either period or first. And it's a really personal decision. And there isn't any right or wrong answer. There may be some medical issues that factor in which can make the decision easier, like the doctor may recommend it be you and not you, it may be age, it may be medical health. But if you're both healthy and you both can carry, then you just kind of have to figure it out with each other what makes the most sense for your family. In my family, I always knew I wanted to have a child from the time I was a little kid, and my partner didn't always have that feeling. So when it was time for us to have kids, it was clear that it was going to be me. After our first daughter was born and we decided we wanted to have a second one, I thought it would still be me and she just said, "Yeah, maybe I want to try getting pregnant." And I felt like it was such an amazing, important experience that we went ahead and had her carry the second child. So it's very, very personal.

Kim Bergman, PhD Family Therapist, explains the challenges that same-sex couples often face during assisted reproduction


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Kim Bergman, PhD

Family Therapist

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published "Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood" (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters. 

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