Making decisions about assisted reproduction

Family Therapist Kim Bergman, PhD, shares advice for those considering to use assisted reproduction procedures and the factors to consider before doing so
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Making decisions about assisted reproduction

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In deciding how to become a parent, it's a very personal decision. These days, with technology and access, there's many different ways to become parents. Personally, I was dying to be pregnant. I really wanted to do that, and that's what I did. When you're deciding, you need to just look at what's going to make more sense for your family. Surrogacy has it's own set of risks and benefits; egg donation has it's own risks and benefits; adoption also. It's where you fall in the risk-benefit continuum. Can you afford it? Can you afford the emotion of a child not necessarily being yours until the courts says so? All of these are things to look at. For me, having my own child was really important, not so much genetically, because my 2 kids are both mine a hundred percent. But having the experience of being pregnant was something I didn't want to miss out on. That's not available to everyone, but parenthood is.

Family Therapist Kim Bergman, PhD, shares advice for those considering to use assisted reproduction procedures and the factors to consider before doing so

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Kim Bergman, PhD

Family Therapist

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published "Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood" (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters. 

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Transcription: 
In deciding how to become a parent, it's a very personal decision. These days, with technology and access, there's many different ways to become parents. Personally, I was dying to be pregnant. I really wanted to do that, and that's what I did. When you're deciding, you need to just look at what's going to make more sense for your family. Surrogacy has it's own set of risks and benefits; egg donation has it's own risks and benefits; adoption also. It's where you fall in the risk-benefit continuum. Can you afford it? Can you afford the emotion of a child not necessarily being yours until the courts says so? All of these are things to look at. For me, having my own child was really important, not so much genetically, because my 2 kids are both mine a hundred percent. But having the experience of being pregnant was something I didn't want to miss out on. That's not available to everyone, but parenthood is.