Well, teens have a lot of disappointments in life, and they take every one of their tragedies very seriously. And it's important for every parent to know how to respond. We tend to respond by giving advice. And advice can backfire. When your teen is upset. Maybe they've broken up with a boyfriend. Girlfriend's moved away. Didn't get on the Varsity Team. Didn't get the part in the play that she wanted. Failed a test even. When your child has these disappointments, don't offer advice. Advice is very technical - it's sort of problem solving. It doesn't mend. It's not a healer. Advice. It is information. So we really want to do that healing part first. So I suggest that parents use what I call empathic listening, empathy, sometimes called mirroring, active listening. So saying things like you know I know you were really disappointed about that test, That's too bad you failed it. or honey, I'm sure you are crushed that, you know, Mary's moved out of town. It's really really hard. Or You know, that's one of the biggest disappointments, I really understand how hard that can be. Saying things like that will not fix your child's problem or turn around the situation. But you will be listening, hearing, understanding. And truly that's the best compassion you can have for your child.