Communicating with teenage boys

Watch Video: Communicating with teenage boys by Rob Kodama, ...
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Communicating with teenage boys

Communicating with teenage boys – that’s a good one. I love the fact that when you’re asking them questions, they’re very short answers. “How’re you doing?” “Fine.” “Anything new?” “Nope.” “Anything… best/worst day of school?” “Fine.” At the end of the day for these boys, they’re at this place of self-exploration and the difficulty is they’ve learned very early and that girls never forget anything. And when they get to be teenagers, they know mom doesn’t forget anything, so they watch every Ps & Qs with moms and understanding. And I think the difficulty is that knowing that you cannot call them on everything. You can’t solve all their problems when they start to communicate with you. When you try to solve all of their problems for them every single time and offer them answers, they tend to give you less information. And I think that that happens very often with these boys and don’t take it personally when they don’t share everything. Boys are notorious for trying to solve their own – they want to solver their own problems, they want to solve their own issues. I mean we do that as men. We want until it’s too late to tell somebody and then it happens. So that’s not uncommon. I think the difficulty is looking for the signs and symptoms that there is a bigger problem at stake and not to try to solve all their problems, because I think communication-wise that’s when there is this gap in communication.

Watch Video: Communicating with teenage boys by Rob Kodama, ...


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Rob Kodama

Director of Admissions & Marketing, Crespi Carmelite High School

Mr. Kodama has been a Certified Gurian Trainer since 2007. He is the Director of Admissions, Marketing, and Public Relations at Crespi Carmelite High School. He is also the head soccer coach and the Director of K-sports Soccer Camps. He has been involved in the educational field since 1991.  In his role as the Director of Admissions he has increased enrollment at Crespi Carmelite High School nearly 20% within his first five years. He has taught a revolutionary course called ”Becoming a Man” to seniors at Crespi Carmelite High School for the past eight years. In this innovative class, he challenges his students to look at what it truly means to become a man in our society. He explores what their roles are as sons, brothers, fathers, husbands, and mentors. He has presented this class at the Gurian Institute in Colorado Springs. He has served as the social studies department chair, and taught World Cultural Geography, US History, AP Macroeconomics, Micro Economics, and World History.

As a certified trainer and teacher, Mr. Kodama brings a wide variety of experience working with children, parents, students, and athletes. He has been training parents and schools about how boys and girls learn differently and how to help them succeed in school since 2007. He was recently the Keynote Speaker at Pierce College in Woodland Hills for the Early Childhood Development program. He has presented numerous times at The Gurian Summer Institute in Colorado Springs, and has worked with the following schools: Berkeley School, Crossroads Christian, Serra High School, Encino Presbyterian Children’s Center, St. Mel’s School, Kirk of the Valley School, Laurel Hall, Weekday Preschool, Young Oak Kim Academy, Our Lady of Malibu, Palma High School, and Army Navy Academy.

As a coach, he has worked with both boys and girls as young as four, through college. He has been running soccer camps, clinics, and coaching for over 20 years throughout the Los Angeles area. Many of his players have gone on to play at advanced levels of soccer.

He grew up in the San Fernando Valley. He is the youngest of five siblings, and is married and has a seven year-old son and six year-old daughter.

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