When strangers comment on your adopted child
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I can't tell you how many times a day people stop and say, "Oh, you're such a great person," or straight to my children, they'll say, "You're so lucky. You have such a nice mother. You're so lucky." I feel sad that my children have to constantly how lucky they are.
Children who are birthed to their birth parents, don't get told every day that they are lucky. They don't get told that they should be grateful and they should be thankful. So what I say to my children is that we are all lucky. We are so lucky we found each other. I'm so lucky to be able to parent them. I'm so grateful that I have this experience with them, and that means the joys and the sadness. I am so willing to go through it with them.
I also don't want to be overly defensive because when people say that, it comes from a good place. They want to be part of the magic. They want to be part of the experience, and they don't have another way of addressing that.
What I would say to those people is, just be aware of those are human beings. They are not puppies that I picked up at the pound. They are human beings that have a valid existence on this planet, who really need to be loved, and really need to be validated as important, aside from me. Aside from my goodness or my personality.
See Langka Treadwell's video on When strangers comment on your adopted child...
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Langka TreadwellAdoptive Mom
Langka Treadwell is the mother to seven children adopted from all over the globe. She works and volunteers with organizations affiliated with adoption related issues.
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