Should we divorce?

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Should we divorce?

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A lot of parents when they believe they are in a bad marriage wonder is it better to stay together for their kids or not. First of all we need to realize as parents who are married that marriage satisfaction goes down once we have kids and it goes up when they leave. There is a lot of things about marriage that when they don't work out that are bad mechanics. The foundation is good, the engine is good, its just that the mechanics are off and that's why if I'm asking that question as a parent, one of the things I really wish people would do is to seek out good marriage counseling. I think there is a lot of marriage counseling that isn't good but good marriage counseling is very mechanical. What are the mechanics of your weeks? How are you guys doing? Are you enjoying each others company? If not there is exercises to remind you about why you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this person, have children together. There's exercises to get you there, remind you. How are you arguing? Are you arguing effectively? Again there's exercises for that. What's your sex life like? Is it varied enough or is it like flossing teeth? Is it open lines of communication? what our sexual interests are with each other and doing exercises for that. I think i would never want to end a marriage without at least trying those mechanical things with a good skillful marriage counselor. Maybe if that doesn't work that's information

See David Palmiter, PhD, ABPP 's video on Should we divorce?...

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David Palmiter, PhD, ABPP

Psychologist & Author

Dr. David Palmiter is a professor of Psychology and Counseling at Marywood University. He is a practicing and board-certified clinical psychologist, a past president of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the author of over three dozen publications, including two books on promoting resilience in youth, a Fellow of the American Psychological Association (true of < 6% of psychologists), the American Academy of Clinical Psychology and the Pennsylvania Psychological Association in youth. He has also given hundreds of workshops on family issues for organizations such as The Navy SEAL Foundation, The Master Therapist Series at the University of Connecticut, The American Psychological Association and the McGraw-Hill Financial Group and completed hundreds of media projects for outlets such as CNN, The New York Times, US News and World Report and the Wall Street Journal. David is also a dad of three (two studying at Cornell University and one still in high school) and husband of 27 years to Dr. Lia Richards-Palmiter. A central aspect of his professional mission is to put air under the wings of parents as they try to raise happy and resilient children and teens.

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