Rewarding children for grades or behavior
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Edward Hallowell, MD, EdD Psychiatrist and Author, shares advice for parent on how to effectively reward your child for good behavior or grades without creating an overriding message
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A lot of experts say that you should not give kids prizes and rewards for grades or behavior.
I don't see the harm in doing that. I think any expert who says, "you shouldn't bribe a child;" doesn't have children. Being a parent is all about coaxing, cajoling, doing whatever you have to do to get a child to do something. As grownups, we call that a salary. So I don't think there is anything wrong with attaching a reward to some desired behavior.
Now, if that's the only reason for doing it, that's another problem, but if it is an added prize, sure, give them an extra .50 cents for bringing home an A. I think that's fine. You don't want to focus in on that. You don't want the reward to be extraordinary. You don't want to give them a new car for bringing home an A. I think the idea of rewards is kind of a game.
My overriding message to kids is, don't worry so much about it. Just enjoy them and have fun with it so it's a good experience for everybody.
Edward Hallowell, MD, EdD Psychiatrist and Author, shares advice for parent on how to effectively reward your child for good behavior or grades without creating an overriding message
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Edward Hallowell, MD, EdDPsychiatrist, ADHD Specialist, & Author
Edward (Ned) Hallowell, MD, EdD is a Harvard-trained Child and Adult Psychiatrist in practice in Sudbury, MA (outside Boston) and New York City. The author of 18 books, Dr. Hallowell specializes in learning differences such as ADHD and dyslexia, both of which he has himself. He has also written extensively on general issues of parenting and living in our modern age. He lives in the Boston area with his wife of 23 years, Sue, and their three children, Lucy, Jack, and Tucker.
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