Enforcing practice for an activity
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Psychiatrist & Author Edward Hallowell, MD, EdD, shares advice for parents on the best way to get your child to continue to practice an instrument or activity
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The question of music lessons comes up often and I answer it by telling the story of my daughter, Lucy. When she was six years old she decided she wanted to play the violin. So we got her a violin, got her lessons and in order for her to practice we had to hound her to practice – "Got to practice."
Well, every year we would have the following conversation: "Lucy, do you want to keep taking violin?" "Yes, I do." "Do you know that if you're going to keep taking violin you're going to have to practice?" "Yes, I do." "Do you know that you won't practice unless we hound you to practice?" "Yes, I do." "Therefore you give us permission to hound you to practice?" "Yes." "Okay, that's your contract for the next year."
So then… "Go practice." "No, I take it back. I don't want it." "No, too bad, you signed the contract. You're on for a year." So you've got to hound them, you've got to force them to do it. It's not pleasant but force her to do it.
I can tell you hundreds of thousands of adults say, "I wish my parents hadn't let me quit music lessons.” So once they've started, I tell parents, "Keep them at it." Unless it becomes torture, unless they really hate it for an extended period of time, then let them stop. But my default position is you keep at it until you graduate from high school.
Psychiatrist & Author Edward Hallowell, MD, EdD, shares advice for parents on the best way to get your child to continue to practice an instrument or activity
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Edward Hallowell, MD, EdDPsychiatrist, ADHD Specialist, & Author
Edward (Ned) Hallowell, MD, EdD is a Harvard-trained Child and Adult Psychiatrist in practice in Sudbury, MA (outside Boston) and New York City. The author of 18 books, Dr. Hallowell specializes in learning differences such as ADHD and dyslexia, both of which he has himself. He has also written extensively on general issues of parenting and living in our modern age. He lives in the Boston area with his wife of 23 years, Sue, and their three children, Lucy, Jack, and Tucker.
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