Progress versus praise
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Compliments and praise are fine. I'm all in favor of parents complimenting and praising their children. I'm not one of these people who say you must not do it. Sure, go ahead and do it.
It doesn't have the impact that a child that is making progress at some difficult task will have. Because when you make progress at something that is difficult, you are proving to yourself that you have talent. You are proving to yourself that you are worthy of praise. That's why it is very important for parents, coaches, and teachers, to set kids up to make progress at tasks that are challenging that matter to them. That's what really builds confidence.
You build confidence through action, not through words of praise.
View Edward Hallowell, MD, EdD's video on Progress versus praise...
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Edward Hallowell, MD, EdDPsychiatrist, ADHD Specialist, & Author
Edward (Ned) Hallowell, MD, EdD is a Harvard-trained Child and Adult Psychiatrist in practice in Sudbury, MA (outside Boston) and New York City. The author of 18 books, Dr. Hallowell specializes in learning differences such as ADHD and dyslexia, both of which he has himself. He has also written extensively on general issues of parenting and living in our modern age. He lives in the Boston area with his wife of 23 years, Sue, and their three children, Lucy, Jack, and Tucker.
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