Why you don't have to be a perfect mother
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I think accepting your limitations as a mother is really important. When I was growing up, I looked at my mom as just this perfect mother who had all of the answers and could guide me through any problem. In retrospect, as an adult, I can see that wasn't the case, and hearing it from her perspective, she was far from perfect. But as a child, that's how I saw her and it sort of set me up for failure as a parent because I tried, at the beginning, to really play this role of a perfect mother like I thought my mom did, and when I didn't achieve that, I felt like a failure. Now I've realized she wasn't perfect, she didn't have to pretend to be, and I don't pretend to be with my kids, I don't think I'm misleading them when they look at me and they know that I'm frustrated, that I've had it with them. I think it's okay for them to see that side. I think it's okay for us to not put on an act in front of our kids, or our friends or our family. And I think it takes the pressure off, once we're willing to take that perfect hat off and just be ourselves.
So, that would be my advise, is just to take a deep breath, do the best you can and know that nobody is judging you with a report card. Unless you're a celebrity and Star magazine is stalking you. Nobody is judging you as harshly as you're judging yourself. You'll be okay.
View Jill Smokler's video on Why you don't have to be a perfect mother...
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Jill SmoklerAuthor & Owner, Scary Mommy
What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill Smokler’s stay-at-home days with her children, (Lily, 9, Ben, 7 and Evan, 5) quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Jill’s honest take on parenting has appeared in numerous publications and on television programs, including The Today Show, The New York Times, Good Morning America, Nightline and CNN.
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