When good kids do something bad

David Palmiter, PhD, ABPP Psychologist and Author, shares advice for parents on how to react when their good kids do something bad
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When good kids do something bad

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Hey parents my kids are generally successful but I walked in on something that really is important to me and it's against everything we've talked about doing. I would think of that as a favor, unlike any favor that can be a variety of causes some of them are very mild, some of them more significant. But I want to do an evaluation with my kid, this is why a weekly hour of special time having open communication a week are so important because it is more likely that conversation can be productive. If I don't have that kind of relationship then I want to get a mental health professional to help me to try to do an evaluation. The worst thing that happens is that to over kill and I've spent a little time and money and told my kids fine. So often I heard stories of parents that they just didn't know about this under belly life their teenager had, that existed outside their awareness that they kept to themselves. A skilled metal health professional will not allow a teen to experience a self-esteem damage by virtue of evaluation. Actually when I do them, I assess strength as much as any vulnerability and well maybe make sure there is no under belly that's explaining this problem. I only need to do that if I feel like I don't have a theory of this that makes sense that I can do an intervention or not.

David Palmiter, PhD, ABPP Psychologist and Author, shares advice for parents on how to react when their good kids do something bad

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David Palmiter, PhD, ABPP

Psychologist & Author

Dr. David Palmiter is a professor of Psychology and Counseling at Marywood University. He is a practicing and board-certified clinical psychologist, a past president of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association, the author of over three dozen publications, including two books on promoting resilience in youth, a Fellow of the American Psychological Association (true of < 6% of psychologists), the American Academy of Clinical Psychology and the Pennsylvania Psychological Association in youth. He has also given hundreds of workshops on family issues for organizations such as The Navy SEAL Foundation, The Master Therapist Series at the University of Connecticut, The American Psychological Association and the McGraw-Hill Financial Group and completed hundreds of media projects for outlets such as CNN, The New York Times, US News and World Report and the Wall Street Journal. David is also a dad of three (two studying at Cornell University and one still in high school) and husband of 27 years to Dr. Lia Richards-Palmiter. A central aspect of his professional mission is to put air under the wings of parents as they try to raise happy and resilient children and teens.

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Transcription: 
Hey parents my kids are generally successful but I walked in on something that really is important to me and it's against everything we've talked about doing. I would think of that as a favor, unlike any favor that can be a variety of causes some of them are very mild, some of them more significant. But I want to do an evaluation with my kid, this is why a weekly hour of special time having open communication a week are so important because it is more likely that conversation can be productive. If I don't have that kind of relationship then I want to get a mental health professional to help me to try to do an evaluation. The worst thing that happens is that to over kill and I've spent a little time and money and told my kids fine. So often I heard stories of parents that they just didn't know about this under belly life their teenager had, that existed outside their awareness that they kept to themselves. A skilled metal health professional will not allow a teen to experience a self-esteem damage by virtue of evaluation. Actually when I do them, I assess strength as much as any vulnerability and well maybe make sure there is no under belly that's explaining this problem. I only need to do that if I feel like I don't have a theory of this that makes sense that I can do an intervention or not.