At some point during your teenager's final year of school, it hits you. They're moving out next year. And you're fairly sure they've never once worked out which setting the washing machine goes on.
Most parents get that jolt, whether their kid is moving two suburbs over or to another country entirely. There's usually a good few months between the offer letter and moving day, though, and how you spend them tends to show up in how that first semester goes.
Teach the boring stuff now, not in the car on the way there
Ask anyone who lived in student housing what caught them out in first year. It's rarely the lectures. More often it's running out of clean undies on a Wednesday, or discovering rice needs actual supervision, or the phone call home that opens with "Mum, quick question..."
So start handing over jobs. Let them do their own washing for a term and leave the red sock incident alone when it happens (it will). Give them one dinner a week to cook, even if it's spag bol on repeat until Christmas. Send them to the supermarket with a fixed amount and see what comes back in the bags.
Slower than doing it yourself? Much. Do it anyway. They'll learn more in your kitchen than in a shared one where nobody's watching.
The money talk
Nobody enjoys a budget chat with a seventeen-year-old. It still beats the panicked text in week five, account at zero, rent due Friday.
Put the kettle on and sketch out a normal week together. Rent, food, transport, and the takeaway they swear they won't buy. Some families settle on a weekly allowance and leave it at that. Others build the budget with their teen and then step back and let them run it. Either can work. What matters is that they've seen the real numbers before they're the one paying them.
Where they'll actually live
This is the one that keeps parents up at night, and fair enough. Where a student lives in the first year may shape a lot: how quickly they make friends, whether they go to class or slowly stop turning up.
Broadly, there are three options: a college or hall on campus, a share house, or purpose-built student accommodation near the uni. Share houses can be cheaper, but there's the lease, the power bill, and the housemate who never does a single dish. Purpose-built places are usually furnished and designed around students, so much of the grown-up admin is already sorted, which for a teenager who has never paid a bill can make the jump feel smaller.
When the move is overseas
For lots of families, it isn't a drive down the highway. It's a long-haul flight to a different country. Students from just about everywhere do it now.
The headaches are different. Time zones turn "I'll give them a quick ring" into a small maths problem. Then there's the paperwork, visas and bank accounts and a local SIM, more forms than seems reasonable.
Housing matters more in this case. Living among other students, with staff nearby to call when the shower packs it in, may be the difference between a shaky first month and a genuinely lonely one.
If Australia's on the list
Australia attracts students from overseas, as well as students from regional areas moving to major cities for university. Sydney is a popular choice, though settling into a new city can feel overwhelming at first.
For students attending the University of Sydney, finding suitable accommodation can help make the transition easier. Options for University of Sydney student accommodation include private student residences designed to support independent living. Nearby neighbourhoods such as Newtown and Glebe also offer plenty to explore on weekends.
Don't pack the whole house
The urge to send them off with everything is strong. Resist it.
Check what the room already comes with before buying anything, since plenty of student rooms are better kitted out than you'd guess. Then pack a few things that'll make it feel like theirs. A favourite blanket. Some photos. That chipped mug they've had Milo out of since Year 7.
Stay close, but not too close
Homesickness usually turns up a few weeks in, once O-Week is done and the novelty's gone.
Agree on a rhythm before they leave, say a call on Sunday nights and messages whenever. Enough that they know you're there, not so much it feels like they never left.
When they ring about a housemate blow-up or a form that makes no sense, try asking what they think they should do before offering the answer. More often than not they already know. They just need to say it out loud to someone.
And look after yourself
Nobody really warns you about your end of it. The house is quieter. You cook too much for a while. You walk past their room and feel a small pang.It gets easier. It really does.
You're still their parent after they move out, you're just doing less of the doing. Mostly you're watching from the sidelines now while they work things out, and that part, it turns out, can be pretty great.
