Emotional intelligence is being smart about emotions. So that means being smart about our own emotions, noticing what we're feeling and being able to manage those emotions, and being smart about other people's emotions. Understanding what someone else is feeling and what might motivate them ro behave in a certain way.
How we can teach our child emotional intelligence? First, we empathize. When we empathize with our child, they learn empathy. hey learn how to empathize with others so they can read other people's emotions. And we accept the full range of our child's emotions. When we do that, children accept their own full range of emotions and they're better able to manage them and therefore, they can mange their behavior.
You can start teaching emotional intelligence with toddlers by naming the feeling. So you can say, "You're so mad!" and your toddler thinks, "Yeah. There's a name for what's swamping me here and Daddy even doesn't seem scared of it. He seems to think that its okay and maybe other people get mad too." And all of a sudden, your toddler gains a whole lot more control over his emotions.
And as kids get older, you don't analyze them, which would make them feel put on the spot, but you might just say, "You seem really upset." and help your child to begin to talk about his emotions and children begin to develop a language for it. Once we can talk about feelings, the feelings which are on the non-verbal side of the brain connect to the words on the other side of the brain and we have so much control and therefore, we have control over our behavior.