Dealing with competition between brothers

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Dealing with competition between brothers

My two oldest boys are Irish twins, less than a year apart. There wasn't much that they weren't competitive about. The real challenges came as they developed friendships with others in their pre-teen and teen years, and they were very competitive about who hung out with who and who was doing what. And again, it's important as a parent to listen to each. When they're having a brawl, they each have a side. You have to take them aside, break them apart and find out what's your problem, Tim, what's your problem, Matt. Let them say what they want to say. They talk about a speech that I gave them years ago that I forgot. They call it "the annual speech". I went and got my high school manual, and I came in and I opened it up. I showed them my four best friends and what they had written about me, then I ask them, "Do you know these guys?" And they knew one of them, they'd heard of another one, they didn't know the other two. And my point to them was that you two are going to spend every important day that lies in the future, be it a wedding, a baptism, a funeral, a holiday; you will always be bound by the fact that you're brother and brother. And look at these friends that you're fighting over. They seem like the most important thing in the world today, but here I am years later. I have fond memories of those folks, but I don't see them anymore, but I still see my brother and sisters.

Watch Tim Wheeler's video on Dealing with competition between brothers...


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Tim Wheeler

Dad and Coach

Timothy J. Wheeler, the managing partner of the law firm Greene, Broillet & Wheeler LLP.  He has extensive trial experience in a variety of areas including product liability, general negligence and auto product liability. Tim was named the Lawyer of the Year in Product Liability by Best Lawyers in America for 2013. He was a three-time finalist for the prestigious Trial Lawyer of the Year Award, presented by the Consumer Attorneys Association of Los Angeles (CAALA), for his outstanding trial record and involvement and commitment to consumer rights. Tim is a graduate of Loyola Law School, Los Angeles, CA (J.D., 1978), Tim attended Santa Clara University (BS, cum laude, Political Science, 1975), and was a recipient of the Jesuit Scholarship. While at Loyola High School, Tim's excellence in all areas of student life was recognized by the faculty, which bestowed upon him The Loyola Award. Tim and his wife Nancy reside in Manhattan Beach,  have been married for 37 years and have four adult children, Matt, Tim, Danny, and Mary and two grandchildren, Lily and Grace. 

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