As parents, our greatest vision is to have children who have a positive sense of self with enough self confidence to navigate the challenges of life.
Life experience has taught us all that at times we are faced with situations that create fear preventing us from moving forward.
One of the greatest gifts you can give to your children are the skills and tools to deal with their own fears to do more in their own lives. This creates a foundation that they will draw from daily as they create a life that they love.
1. Fears are normal
The first step in this process is to explain to your children that fears are normal. By acknowledging that we all have fears within our own mind-body system and expressing this to our children we take away the “scary” thoughts that prevent us from addressing what we are afraid of. We become aware that we have nothing to be ashamed of when we realize everyone has fears, be it our parents, colleagues, peers or anybody around us. Share this idea with the children in your life. Have open communication where by you can share some of your own fears with them to show them how normal it actually is. Being open about your fears with children will allow them to feel as if they can also communicate their fears more easily to you. (It is important to keep this appropriate as a parent/child conversation.)
2. See the fear
If we want to be able to release or overcome our fears we need to know exactly what the fear is that we are dealing with at any age. It is important to have the words and vocabulary to describe these. Some common fears are fear of not being good enough, failure and not being accepted. There are many! Guide children through a process of asking themselves “what am I afraid of ?” It is important to know which fears are limiting them in their lives. If they do not know the fear, it remains hidden and cannot be dealt with appropriately. Assist them to write or draw a list of the fears that they feel are making them feel stuck, anxious or overwhelmed and keeping them from being happy and peaceful.
This is a start to release and let go of what they fear most.
3. The best reason to overcome fear
Overcoming fear is often a challenging process. It can take time and requires us to draw on our inner strength. For this we need motivation and inspiration and grit. Help children to connect with a sense of inner purpose, passion and dreams in their life to give them the desire to overcome whatever obstacles may lie in their path including fear. The greatest inspiration we can have is our own dreams, passions and goals in life. Dreams are beautiful and intimate and will change as we learn and grow as individuals. It is important to always have a dream at any age. Encourage children to go within themselves and dream. Get children to close their eyes and use their imagination to see their dreams, write or draw them down and come up with an action plan to make them real.
4. Action to overcome fear
Once we know what our children’s fears are and we have connected them with the inspiration or a reason to overcome them they have a base to work from. Times will arise along their life journey that will require them to a push through the boundary of the fear, freeing them from the hold it has over them.
I personally know this opportunity is nearby when I feel “butterflies” or energy moving within me. This happens at different times when I need to face a fear. After we take action to face the fear the feeling dissipates and we build an extra sense of confidence moving forward. Help children to understand this and to know that all we can do is our best in life. Teach them to let go of trying to control the outcome of situations or meet everyone’s expectations outside of themselves.
5. Power of the mind
Visualization techniques have been proven to work on many levels in the brain and body. Using these techniques are extremely beneficial for children and adults in letting go of fear and anxiety. Fear rests in the mind and body so therefore we can teach children and ourselves to use the mind as a tool to become free. Go within and see where and how the fear rests in the body and use the power of the mind to release the fear and all the things associated with it. (In my books “ Freeing Freddie the Dream Weaver Workbook and Activity Book” I have incorporated specific visualizations that are easy to access and use from our web site. https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=freeing+freddie+
6. Opposite of fear is love and peace
In love and peace fear cannot exist. Create a space and environment at home for children where they can feel safe, loved and peaceful. Screaming and shouting in the home is very unsettling for children so try keep a calm tone in the house. Children are more perceptive than we realize and they often model themselves more on how they see adults behaving than what adults tell them to do. Live by the ways you want your children to be in the world. Teach children to have self-love and compassion for themselves and others. When we are filled with love and compassion there is no room for fear. Be kind and loving to them and others and they will learn the same behavior.
Having the mind trained in peace and cultivated in love and compassion is essential for physical health and mental well-being. Meditation has now become a normal practice in schools and homes due to the positive affect it creates.
There are many ways to practice meditation and when learned early on as children it can give an inner compass as to which actions and choices will lead them to greater peace and joy in life, free from fear. Meditation helps to release stress, anxiety and fear and replaces it with stability, self-confidence and self-love. Of the many meditation techniques I have used, Transcendental Meditation is the most effortless and effective and can be learnt at a young age. No matter how challenging life may seem it always feels easier and more joyful after meditating.
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