The 4 steps to take when your child is being bullied

See Michele Borba, EdD's video on The 4 steps to take when your child is being bullied...
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The 4 steps to take when your child is being bullied

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One of the questions I'm asked often by parents is, "What do I do if my child comes home and says he's been bullied?" Here's some things that you want to do, and it's very important that you do all four of the things I'm suggesting because what you want to do is help your child develop a safety plan. Number one is stay calm. Oh, how you want to pick up the phone and blast the bully. But instead, what you want to do is be a detective like Columbo and pick up information. There's four bits of information you want. Number one is, where did this happen? Interestingly enough, bullying almost always happens at the same place and the same time. So that's your next questions is when? If you know the place and the time, you'll be able to help your child know those are hotspots or hot times that you can avoid or at least be near an adult. Number three is who? Who did this to you? Was he alone or with a group? That will help you figure out who your child needs as an ally or who to help figure out, the teacher. And the fourth one is how did you respond? Be very careful on this one. Don't ever accuse your child of doing something wrong or responding wrong, because victims almost never do anything wrong. The bully is just picking on that particular child. Instead, what you want to do is figure out how did you respond? Because now we'll figure out a different way so we can help you learn a different way of responding. What you're actually doing is creating a safety plan for your child and then tell them we're gonna stick with this until we see that that bully stops doing it and you feel safe to go back to school.

See Michele Borba, EdD's video on The 4 steps to take when your child is being bullied...

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Michele Borba, EdD

Educational Psychologist

Michele Borba, EdD is a Today Show contributor and recipient of the National Educator Award. She is recognized for her practical, solution-based parenting strategies and is an expert of bullying. Michele is the author of 22 books including Building Moral Intelligence and No More Misbehavin’. She appears as an expert on shows such as Dr. Phil, The View, and CNN and is an advisory board member for Parentsmagazine. 

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