Getting tweens to listen to you instead of their peers

Watch Cara Natterson, MD's video on Getting tweens to listen to you instead of their peers...
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Getting tweens to listen to you instead of their peers

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It's not that your 12 year old can't hear you, it's just that they're not going to listen to you in lieu of their friends. Something happens around 12 and I'm not exactly sure if it's the brain evolving and maturing or if it's socialization. It's got to be some kind of combination of the two. But we know that 12 year olds shift from caring more about what their parents think and say, to caring more about what their peers think and say. And the problem here is that often their peers are giving them really bad information. So the answer to, why doesn't your 12 year old listen, is that you're not also 12. Don't forget that your 12 year old hears you. So you want to continue to have conversations with your child. You want to make sure you're having family dinners where you're bringing up issues in school and out of school. Everything you say is being filed away in the back of their brain. I's just that they're not sharing with you that you're sort of first on their radar; and you're not. You don't hold a candle to another 12 year old.

Watch Cara Natterson, MD's video on Getting tweens to listen to you instead of their peers...

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Expert Bio

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Cara Natterson, MD

Pediatrician & Author

Cara Natterson, MD has treated thousands of children and guided their parents as well. She was a partner at Tenth Street Pediatrics in Santa Monica, California, a large group practice serving infants, children and teenagers. She now runs Worry Proof Consulting, the first of its kind pediatric practice that offers parents open-ended time to review everything from medical questions and biology basics to child development and parenting issues. Cara is also the author of several books on parenting and child health. She has a unique ability to translate cutting edge research into understandable terms for parents and their kids. More recently, Cara’s consulting has extended beyond individual families to include fortune 500 companies seeking expert advice on safety issues, child health, and crisis management.

Cara has appeared on television, in print, and on the web. She is a graduate of Harvard College and Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and she trained in pediatrics at the University of California at San Francisco. Cara is a Board certified pediatrician and a Fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. And anyone who knows her knows that Cara is, by nature, one of the most risk-averse people on earth. She lives in California with her husband and two children.

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