Parents don't want their child to suffer because their marriage is ending. Unfortunately, studies show that divorce often negatively affects a child socially, physically, emotionally, and even financially. But an amicable end to a marriage provides a smoother transition for the child, during and after the divorce. Here are 3 steps to an amicable divorce without disrupting your child's life.
Mediate the Terms of the Divorce
An amicable divorce begins with parents who are willing to negotiate, with the child's best interest in mind. You’ll probably have an attorney represent you, such as the Chicago divorce lawyers at Vantage Group Legal. However, you can still make it clear that you would like to work out the terms of your divorce and custody without going to court. Mediation will help lead to an amicable divorce by:
Ending the marriage in a non-confrontational manner;
Keeping your kids from having to testify in court;
Protecting the privacy of the situation by not needing friends or family to testify;
Demonstrating to your child that you and their other parent can work together; and
Resolving some crucial issues that significantly impact a child of divorce, including custody, visitation, school placement, and living arrangements with a mediator's help.
Mediation starts the divorce process on a less adversarial note than court does and can lead to better cooperation down the road. A marriage dissolved calmly, and by parents working together, can provide a bit of harmony for the child.
Keep Kids out of It
It would be best never to have your child argue your viewpoint or talk to their other parent on your behalf. One of the most disruptive and harmful things to a child is putting them in the middle of a divorce. Also, if you are talking down to or negatively about the other parent around your child, your child may get confused about their support system and how to view their parents.
Choose to treat your ex with courtesy during the divorce process and not involve your child in disputes. As a result, your child's life can be less disturbed by their parents' issues. For instance, they will be able to still enjoy both of their parents at events (soccer games, school plays, etc.) without dread of tension or arguments.
Your divorce will go more smoothly if you can transition from unhappy partners to respectful co-parents. Your child will not have the disruption and stress of hearing, seeing, or fearing either parent's complaints. Children never benefit from being in the middle of divorce arguments.
Use a Support System
Working toward an amicable divorce is not always easy. Few divorces happen without some trauma to the spouses and the child and a need for legal representation. As a result, reach out for counseling or therapy, and hire an attorney.
The counselor can address things such as:
Coping skills for during and after the divorce process;
Techniques for talking with your child about the divorce;
Understanding the impact the divorce may have on children of all ages; and
Viewing the divorce as a fresh start, not a tragedy or failure.
The attorney, on the other hand, will be your legal representative and will:
Follow your wishes of attempting a peaceful resolution to the marriage;
Protect your rights;
Handle all legal documents so that your divorce is processed correctly; and
Help alleviate much of your stress so that you can focus on tranquility for your child.
A healthy, supported parent gives more security and stability to their child. Be sure to have the help you need.
Conscious uncoupling is a term coined long ago that has been revitalized. It is a great goal of ending a marriage on good terms. Amicable divorces lead to fewer disruptions and fears for the child involved. Follow the steps above, and you may reach a place where you can negotiate fair terms for the divorce, peaceably deal with your ex, and maintain a sense of normalcy for your child.