
Deciding to become a foster carer is a big step that affects the whole family. While it can be an incredibly rewarding experience, it also brings a lot of change. Your biological children will need time and support to adjust to having a new foster sibling join the family. Here are some tips on how to prepare your kids and help them welcome a foster child into your home.
Explain What Fostering Means
Learning how to become a foster parent is a process that takes time. Along the way, sit down with your children and explain what it means to foster a child. Use age-appropriate language they can understand. Explain that foster children are boys and girls who need a safe and loving home for various reasons. Their own families are having difficulties, so they will be staying with your family temporarily. Make it clear that you will be caring for and loving the foster child, just as you do your own kids. Be open and honest and allow them to ask questions.
Involve Them in Preparations
Get your kids excited for the new arrival by involving them in preparations. Ask them to help choose toys, books, decorations or clothing donations for the foster child. Have them help decorate and arrange the new bedroom. Giving them responsibilities helps them feel included and makes them more enthusiastic to welcome the new sibling.
Discuss Routines and House Rules
Talk to your children about any changes or adjustments to routines and rules needed when the foster child moves in. Explain that the foster child may need extra patience, care or space as they transition. Make it clear what’s expected in terms of sharing toys, being kind and including them in play and activities. Outline any new responsibilities or rules so the whole household is on the same page.
Acknowledge Concerns
Your children may feel anxious, or even jealous, about sharing their home and parents with a new child. Acknowledge that these emotions are normal. Reassure them that you love them just as much as ever and nothing will change that. Explain that fostering is an act of service and is about helping a child in need. Tell them that you know it will take an adjustment, but you are there to help them through any concerns or struggles.
Prepare Them for Emotional Needs
Explain that foster children have often been through trauma like separation from family. So, they may act out, seem withdrawn or struggle with transitions. Ask your children to be patient and understanding if the new sibling is acting differently. Explain that with stability, care and time, the foster child will start to trust the family and feel more comfortable.
Emphasise the Positives
While being realistic, also highlight the many positives about fostering. Talk about fulfilling a child’s needs, expanding the family and providing them a sibling to play with. Share stories of other foster families where the children became close friends. Convey your passion and conviction that fostering is a meaningful way to help someone in need.
Preparing your biological children for welcoming a foster child into your home requires open communication, empathy and teamwork. Be honest, acknowledge concerns and outline expectations. But also focus on the many rewards fostering can bring your family. With time, care and compassion, you can make your foster child feel supported and very much part of your family.