Single parenthood is nothing to be afraid of. There are plenty of things you can do to help make your life easier, and the lives of your children. These tips and tricks can help make your transition to sole parenting simple, and prevent you from falling into the usual potholes that make the road ahead a bumpy one. Many people have been through this phase before you and have plenty of helpful hints that you can use to keep your life and the lives of your children moving in the right direction.
Complete The Paperwork
Moving forward from a relationship can be challenging and complicated, wand with children involved things can become even more difficult and heated. It will be impossible for you, your children, or your previous partner to build a future with child custody agreements and financial settlements agreed upon and arranged. The National Legal Service are legal aid solicitors that can help parents resolve issues and put a plan in place that will ensure their children are provided for and have a custody plan that suits them and their parents.
Do Not Be Afraid To Ask For Help
Single parents often take on a bigger workload than they need to. Balancing the demands of work and life is going to be challenging with a steep learning curve. Never struggle in silence. Even if you have a limited network of people to draw upon for support there is always help available from local parent groups, parent-teacher associations, and even social media. There will be many times you feel alone, or outnumbered. If you ask for help you will get it from the people around you.
Work With Your Children
It can be tempting to try and isolate your children from the changes that are taking place but this does more long-term harm than short-term good. Children are a lot smarter and more intuitive than we like to think and will be very aware of the changes happening in their lives. It is important to involve them in decision-making, where appropriate, and allow them to talk about their feelings and concerns about their future. By working together you can get through these changes together.
Establish Rules Early
In any household, children need rules to live by. Single-parent households often need a few extra rules to help life run smoothly, and this may mean asking your kids to take on a few extra responsibilities. These can be small things, like ensuring they are prepared and packed for spending time with their other parent or helping with chores around the home. Young children need routine and boundaries, so by establishing rules and responsibilities early you are helping to give their lives a structure that they can rely upon.
Be Prepared To Make Mistakes
Do not set yourself unreasonable objectives or expect yourself to navigate the complex waters of single parenting without making any mistakes or going in the wrong direction. This is another opportunity to bring your children in on the conversation and work through challenges like scheduling, meal planning, and school runs with their help. This journey can be a fun one, including your mistakes, with the right mindset. Things will go wrong and it will often be out of your control. Accept this inevitability and keep your composure when you handle your problems.
Keep It Real
The children of single-parent homes can often have a lot of questions about their family situation. You are going to have to prepare yourself to answer difficult questions honestly, and sometimes a little diplomatically. They may have questions about their other parent and your relationship with them, and children often feel that they may have played a role in the separation between you both. Find a way to answer questions honestly and clearly without allowing any of your negative feelings to influence their perspectives.
Have A Plan For Emergencies
Not everything is under your control, and when an emergency happens you need to know where to look for help and who you can rely on. Get ahead of the problem and get a plan in place. Involve your kids and let them know what is going to happen in an emergency. They will know a grandparent will pick them up from school if they are sick, for instance, which can be very reassuring to you and them.
Stay Consistent With Your Kids
The changes that your children are having to adapt to are going to cause a lot of disruption in their lives. You need to stay consistent and be a reliable force in their lives, supporting them as they find their own ways to survive the challenges they face. Keep the rules and routine consistent in their lives. Make sure that you make yourself available to them as much as possible so they know they have you to turn to when times get tough. Try to be a port in their storm.
Make Peace With Your Situation
If you carry resentment or guilt going forward it is going to have a massively negative impact on your life as a single parent and your children’s future. As difficult as it may be, you need to make peace with the events that have led to this situation and move on from them. If not, they will be a cloud that constantly hangs over your family as you adjust to the new normal. Take a few days if you need them. See if your parents will look after your kids for a couple of days and take some time to reflect and push forwards.
Relax. Being a single parent is challenging, but hugely rewarding and you are going to create new and lasting bonds with your children along with many happy memories. How you react and adjust to the changes in the early days will have repercussions on your future, so try and start off on the right foot with the help of these top tips.
